Angry

Wed, 07/19/2017 - 09:54 -- kyl3x

I am angry

I am angry at the word Society

I am angry that people still think Anorexia is just for girls

and I am angry at the term "Pro Ana."

I am angry at every binge

and every purge,

I am angry at every calorie that made me feel big

and I am angry that I wanted to die because I felt big.

I am angry because you believed there was nothing wrong just because I wasn't skinny.

I still under-ate

my hands were way past dry

I felt faint everyday

going up the stairs is a dizzy trip.

 

I'm angry that my best friend had to go through this & I couldn't for her.

I am angry that this poem isn't about me but about somebody that I love

I am angry because people still don't believe this is a disease & it's just a game

I am angry because people don't understand the depression that goes with this

if being underweight is the only reason you'd notice

your daughter is not your daughter

don't you understand the behavior modifications that's been running through more than just her head

she's not the little girl you still think she is

it feels like her skin is falling off her bones.

she thought she was obese when she wasn't even ten pounds close to obesity.

She'll only admit she's hungry for the diet pills hidden with the not for brushing toothbrush.

 

I am angry because you'll never understand what it's like to talk your friend out of sticking her neck in a noose

just because her BMI was more than she could stomach

Below average, just isn't enough.

She lost her appetite to the ribs above her stomach

they still didn't show.

She lost it to her hip bones

where a boy held her close and complimented her on how small she was getting

but that didn't satisfy her

they weren't sticking out to her goal.

and you will never understand the pain that this puts a best friend in.

this is the definition of being the living dead

anxiety and calories swallowing you whole as you dove into the deep end.

anorexia is spreading more and more each day

you're waiting for the apocalypse,

 

I'm telling you it's already here

I'm telling you what will end the world will not be zombies

but our minds destroying our bodies and slitting us open

this isn't heart surgery

this is Anorexia.

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