The misery of war lies a heavy burden on my psyche

Every night, I question who I am and why I’m here, despite

My family’s need and my desire of adequacy

I have doubts of inner strength and my will to fight

 

 

I look at the men around me

Egos bigger than the Great Wall, eyes hungry for victory and lust

Is this what it’s like to be a man?

I look within myself and begin to trust

 

 

If my family finds out, I will surely be disowned

Or maybe not

A country only accepting of sons and not daughters?

Maybe I have a shot

 

 

It’s worth the risk of freedom

Freedom to be who I feel

My reflection will finally show who I am

My dreams will finally be real

 

 

So I cut my hair and my femininity

And I swallow my Testosterone and fear

I grow a smooth bravado

I burn my brassiere

 

 

Mulan? No, I am forever Ping

My pronouns are he, his and him

I will still be the hero and save China

Honor will be preserved, and my light shall not dim