This is for my baby, that I haven't met yet.

At first I was scared and didn't even want to believe it.

The test said positive.

I took 3 more to be “sure”.. But I still wasn't.

The only reason I didn't want to believe it,

was because of the relationship me and your father had at the time.

We weren't on good terms, and we haven't been, since more than a year ago

I was scared and stressed. I was angry and disappointed.

I'm still in school, why did I do this?

I don't even know what went on in my head, there were so many thoughts.

I knew, despite the relationship I had with your father,

I needed to have a good relationship with you.

The first trimester wasn't for us.

I kept thinking I wasn't going to be a good mother, I didn't know anything

Of course though, why should I?

The only things I should know are the graphs in algebra 2,

How the french and indian war started,

And why Jay Gatsby wants to be with Daisy Buchanan.

Our second trimester wasn't for us either.

This was where I got all sentimental.

Your father told me I wasn't going to be a good mom

and because I was so scared I wasn't, it felt true.

Now our third trimester together.

It feels better. Healthier.

I stopped talking to your father, unless it was about you of course.

I was and am still stressed about what will happen when the day comes.

You are my motivation to be the best I can be.

To go above and beyond anything to get to where I need to be.

Doctors tell me I'm being a good mom because I'm taking my vitamins,

as I should,

And because I will be going back to school after you arrive.

To show you that if you are determined to get somewhere, you will get there,

overcoming those big obstacles of yours.

You are my future.

I will be the best mom to you as I can be.

I love you always or forever,

Because I don't know which one is longer.