My smile spreads like the red tint on ripening apples

Softly, slowly, then all at once

A goofy giggle slips out–– I can’t help it

Your hands run over my body while emotions flood the damn in my heart

 

Your eyes pose questions like an inquisitive child during a car ride

Curiosity brutally murders the cat

I know you wonder if the cat will come back

I meet your eyes wondering how to explain the terror I am experiencing

 

Ducky climbs you like a mountain

Quickly scrambling up to shower you in kisses

She adores you–– I adore you, too

Your smile calms the storm brewing in my soul

 

Our legs intertwine like vines on the trellis I so desperately desire

Your snores permeate the quiet

I rub my thumb in circles on your cheek

I stare at the ceiling yearning for answers of my own

 

Do you know?

 

Do you know how my heart soars as your hand grasps mine?

Do you know about the music I hear when you press your lips against mine?

Do you know about the smile on my face while you play games on your computer?

Do you know about the pink tint of my cheeks when I taste the cinnamon gum on your tongue?

 

You search my mind for answers like Indiana Jones hunts the Ark

Frustration eats away at your patience

I try to find the words–– I don’t know them

I stumble on my own tongue trying to share my heart with you

 

What do I want?

 

 

 

I want to fall in love, but I’m far too frightened

I want to be loved, but I’m far too unsure

The answers I need are far in the future

Won’t this end when we graduate?

 

I want a future, but I’m far too hesitant

I want a home, but I’m far too isolated

The emotions I’m experiencing are overwhelming

Won’t you be scared away?

 

I wrap my arms around you like a mama bear hugs her cubs

Fondly, warmly, without a thought of anything else

A warm sigh escapes your lips–– I smile at the sound

I trail my fingertips over your chest capturing mental snapshots

 

What am I afraid of?

 

I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m far too broken

I don’t want to get hurt, but I’m far too willing

I know we have the best thing

But the thing we have terrifies my heart