Dear Loneliness
Dear Loneliness,
I remember how you came into my life at the age of nine
When all my friends stood together at the front of the lunch line
And although it was running through my mind
I hid my sadness that came from being left behind
You followed me when I moved schools in the fifth grade
Abandoning all the little friendships in the past I had made
I did not seem to fit in with anyone around
So I often found myself alone at the playground
When the lottery system of a charter school drew my name
I took this as a chance to run from you and your wicked game
Soon after fifth grade came to an end
I transferred schools feeling ready to make a friend
In sixth grade I met someone interesting and new
But as time went by, I couldn’t help feeling blue
Because our differences caused us to drift apart
Which meant that I would have to build a new start
In middle school, I wanted to forget about you
But feeling like an outcast, the loneliness inside me only grew
While others laughed mercilessly together during lunch time
I sat solo in a classroom doing homework as if talking were a crime
One day, however, I was sure that you disappeared without a trace
When a kind-hearted girl invited me to sit with her and chat face-to-face
After that day, I began to branch out and establish friendships of many
And you left my mind as I entered high school with a smile bright as a penny
Even though I feel content where I currently stand
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of you as if you are the back of my hand
For example, during quiet evenings in the summer of June
When others are out with their friends as I talk alone to the moon
Or when I find myself sitting in crowded rooms
Filled with strangers, their unfamiliarity looms
Loneliness, I am learning not to let you get the best of me
By knowing that things are fine even when I’m by myself and not attending a party
As I am starting to understand that being alone does not symbolize loneliness
I know that I can one day defeat you and the feeling of hopelessness
But as for now, I will continue taking things at the right speed
To break out of my shell and discover what truly defines “me.”
Sincerely,
Vanessa Lu