Dear Those in Doubt,

Looking back on my childhood

Soon to be ending,

Becoming an adult with many responsibilities,

It seems like yesterday I was that child,

That child who couldn’t be alone,

The one no one would have guessed,

Would be in my place today,

I was a mischievous child,

Smart, too smart I was always told,

I’ve always been a happy person,

Smiling, laughing so hard,

Then as I grow older, things got rougher,

Hard to take,

Sad instead of smiling,

 Crying instead of laughing

Soon, I realized,

The people that I was laughing with,

Were laughing at me, not with me,

The names were horrid,

The words like knives in my spine,

Little did they know,

Every night I would cry,

Cry and cry until I fell asleep,

The pain was real; the smile I shared was not,

My life was a joke,

A funny one,

One that everyone understood,

Everyone except me,

I had no friends,

 I had no one,

No one to tell me it’s okay,

No one to lean on,

I was alone, and thought

Maybe I’m not worth it,

Maybe I’m a mistake,

Maybe no one cares,

So why should i?

Maybe if I were skinny,

Maybe if I were pretty,

Maybe if I were mean,

As mean as they were to me,

That’s what it takes, right?

To be liked,

To fit in, to have “friends”

Maybe if I weren’t me,

Maybe they’d like who they think I am,

Without any further question,

That is what I did,

I changed myself,

Not for myself, but

For everyone else who is NOT me,

From that moment, I told myself,

No, don’t eat that,

It’ll make you fat,

Fatter than you already are,

You sick pig, don’t be a glutton,

No, you can’t go like that,

You look hideous,

Why even show your face?

Put something over it,

A bag would be perfect,

Makeup was a way to cover,

To cover up what imperfections I had,

On the surface,

But no one could see the scars,

Those are unnoticeable,

Especially when you close people out,

Build a wall so no one can come in,

Let people think you are happy,

Make people think you like them,

Just so, they will like you,

Fake, all around, I was fake,

I faked a smile,

I faked a laugh,

I faked a friendship,

I faked everything,

I was not ME,

I was someone else entirely,

I got pulled into the thought,

The thought that I had friends,

Friends that would be there,

People to laugh with,

People to have your back when no one does,

But no, at the time,

We were all fake,

We all wanted the same exact thing,

Attention, it was a must-have,

We wanted what no one else had,

We wanted attention,

Jealousy,

Envy,

Well that envy and jealousy,

Catches many’s attention,

Eventually turning into hatred,

Soon I learned,

This is not what I want,

To be rude,

To be mean,

To hurt others,

The exact same way,

That others hurt me,

How could being so hateful,

Make anyone feel good,

Whether about themselves,

Or their actions,

It’s not only unfair, but,

It’s not how we want to be treated,

No one wants to be told,

They’re not good enough,

Smart enough,

Pretty enough,

Funny enough,

Why does it matter?

We are all the same,

We are all different,

We are all what we make ourselves out to be,

Others’ should not have a say,

On whom you should be,

Or how to act,

Or how to live your own life,

It’s yours, no one else’s,

We shouldn’t let people,

Anyone, hold themselves above you,

You are only as great as you make yourself,

You can’t change others,

You can only change yourself,

 For yourself,

You, and only you,

No one else, it’s all you now,

Make the best of the time you have left

Be yourself, don’t be a bully