A dream

Location

72207
United States
34° 46' 45.0012" N, 92° 20' 48.552" W

Someone asked me recently
What would be Mlk's dream if he lived today?
I thought for days on what his message would be
I laughed at comedy on Boondocks about what he would say
Then I looked at how people praise him today
No one knows
But we can all assume based on the world
We all know the world is in ruins
Yet it has changed over 50 years ago
Black is still viewed as bold
And white is still viewed as ruler of all
Money is still green
And people still make mistakes
The only thing that has advanced is technology
It has advanced so fast
People expect robots taking over the world like I Am Legend
I would be an idiot not to want a career in technology
Who wouldn't?
I still want to live like Mlk
Striving for better
Fighting for peace
Promoting unity with everyone
So i believe his dream would be the same
Let everyone come hand in hand rejoicing over God's Grace and Mercy

Comments

thisispoetryproject

I really commend you for writing your thoughts! MLK was and continues to be an inspiration for change and a symbol of the progressive movement. His dream has inspired dreams in individuals and organizations alike. Your underlying message is definitely felt!

There are few ways, however, to make the message a bit clearer. In any speech, essay, or even a conversation, holding onto one topic and fully discussing it always appreciated. Although my thoughts also tend to jump around when I write, it's important to holdfast to one idea or theme for the poems entirety. Otherwise, your message can (and often will) be lost.

An example of this in your poem is when you bring up technology very briefly and then continue on to write about MLK's dream about God and unity. Your reasons for bringing technology and potential career paths into the mix is obscure. Simply stating, "The only thing that has advanced is technology", does the trick just fine! :)

My advice is to allow yourself the time to feel inspired. Finishing a poem should never be a goal because then we begin to stray from our message in an attempt to move onto something else with our time. If your inspiration is at a low, drop the pen! Inspiration comes and goes like the seasons.

This poem has A LOT of great potential and an incredibly heavy meaning! I am looking forward to watching you grow as a poet and sincerely hope that you continue to upload your writings!

Thanks for sharing!

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741