Empty!
Location
Empty the feeling no one really wants to feel
But I feel empty alone but with friends around me
I feel Isolated so cold that my mind is numb to the tears that I cry
I could never have a child at the age of 17
With such delicate hands to hold such smooth skin to caress
No one ever wanted to advise me
That made me Angry
No one ever told me the my hands could be used for craddling
No one ever told me that my hands can guide someone down the street
And it frustrates me it makes me feel weak
I never wanted to be alone forgotten empty thrown away
That was never my decision I wanted to make
I wanted to live learn grow escape lies
But the pills made me drowzy and put me to sleep
I heard a deep voice telling me count to three
I steadily counted One.... Two... I was out before Three
Remembering blurred faces mind racing high pitch machines beeping
I didnt want to do this to me
I never felt so cold and alone
So filled with darkness and miscontemption
I never knew my fingers could burn babies
8 fingers and 2 thumbs were explosive hot
I never wanted to burn him
And keep the ashes in my closet to left bottom corner
His ashes lay still born I mean burn
No one ever taight me to acknowledge my mistakes
They just told me Shhhh make it go away
I never wanted to be angry sad or in pain
But for some damn reason i still pay
I didnt get to choose the pink or blue and the yellow or white clothing for him
I wonder if he will forgive me for burning him
Well it wasnt me it was everyone else who told me
Damn I should have never listened to them
Let me cut the bullshit I just regret it
I regret sitting in that seat answering yes to all those damn questions the doctors asked me
Because the short answers to thos questions were going to be the short breathes my baby had
I never wanted to feel alone empty and cold
Now I feel all those things and more
More than ever now im drowning in my own remorse
If I could tell him anything now I would say:
My sin was not having you
My sin was geting rid of you
I should have never listned to all those voices
I always wanted to craddle you
I remember when i found out I was so happy that I even wrote you a song
But poelpe cam between us and brain washed me
And now i am as lonely as anyone can be
Baby boy mama loves you & with out you im incomplete
So fuck all those motherfuckers that ever told me to get rid of you
Because what they did was get rid of me
Empty a feeling no one really wants to feel
But I am empty and thats real.