Erase Me
The first thing they tell me is that I’m “barely”
Barely Native
Barely colored
Barely aware
Barely alive
They tell me it doesn’t matter, because it’s over
Over for whom?
For you?
Or for my family?
And who are you to decide such a thing, you judger?
They tell me it’s not an insult
But it is
Because you are begging me to deny myself
Simply because it makes you uncomfortable
But let me tell you
That it’s made me uncomfortable every day of my life
They tell me that none of it is real but it is
Because I feel it under my skin
They tell me it’s over
But it’s not
Because I see it in their eyes that they carry the legacy of their ancestors’ hatred
Like I carry the legacy of my ancestors’ oppression
They tell me it’s not about the way I look
But it is
It always is
And if you deny that
Then I color you a liar
They tell me it’s not about race
But it is
It’s about race
It’s about gender
It’s about sex
It’s about class
It’s about height
It’s about weight
It’s about beauty
It’s about age
It’s about everything and nothing at all
If you decide that it is, in fact, meaningless
Then I bow to you
It’s about saying yes
And saying no
And saying maybe
And saying always
And saying Never Again
We bend in the wind because it’s easier than breaking
But if we try to tell the wind ‘no’ it turns on us
And calls us lazy cowards
But they are the cowards
So afraid of darkness in skin
So easily breakable
So easily molded
It’s about character
It’s about love
It’s about hate
It’s about you
And it’s about me
You tell me it’s not about the way I look
But it is
It always is