Back in fourth grade

I met my best friend

A small skinny girl

With blue eyes and hair red

We sat together on the bus everyday

It was crowded with elbows

But together we were safe

With a backpack fortress

Protecting our seat

 

Back in middle school

I rode the bus with a highschool boy

He called me his sister

Said I embodied joy

We spoke about politics

And video games

He took me seriously

Acknowledged my brains

 

This world can be cruel, so we look out for those

Who will stand by our side, and fight the same foes

The enemy of my enemy, is a friend of mine

But you may find that this frenemy

Will turn on you in time

Because this world can be cruel, so they look out for those

Who they can latch onto to achieve their goals

 

My tiny best friend and I still talk

But when we meet up we don’t go for walks

We don’t go to the park

Or sit in the slide until dark

No my best friend has a boyfriend

And she must be with him

The boy who took her innocence

Who will run away again

My redhead best friend doesn’t realize that she’s drained

And as a result she’s falling and pulling down our frame

She begs me to partake in the sin that she’s discovered

Do it on a day where we won’t see our mothers

Because it makes her feel better if she doesn’t do it alone

So she pulls me down with her like a body tied to stone

 

“Because I love you”

 

My highschool friend is in college now

He confessed his ‘love’ a few years ago

I explained that I cared for another at the time

He said that he was better, and going insane

And that because he cared more, I should let him in

He loved me more than anyone would

He wanted to die

And if he got anymore depressed

He promised he would

But his lashing scared me and I retreated away

We met up again two years had passed

When he got jealous of our friends

And tried to take a pass

He put his hands on me and then I realized

That I’m sick of hanging

With this sick guy

 

“Because I loved you.”

 

And I’ve been dragged down, degraded and scared

All because I was told that they cared

We’d been together for so long

And I wonder if we should

“Because I’ve loved you for years”

“More than anyone else could”

 

And I still speak

With both of these friends

They’re the ones I visit

On my free weekends

And only recently

Have I come to understand

That I may have made friends

But the friends make the man

 

And I’m tired of pretending that this is love

Because love is unrelenting and it doesn’t give up

It gives and it gives just like I have done

And when things get hard, love doesn’t run

Love doesn’t force you to love it back

It doesn’t guilt you into believing you are bad

It doesn’t push you into things that you do not want to do

Because love only wants the best for you