Geography
I’m unstable
The earth shakes in me like a thousand drumbeats
Drumbeats that quiver and reverberate through my bones
The tectonics shake and the supports fall out
My geography is no open plane; it’s a mess of valleys and hills
Craters and mountains, and rivers made of salt water
Supplied by the stream of tears that run through my thoughts
And empty into the basin of nothingness that I have let myself become
Words do nothing but open up volcanoes and unleash the storms
There’s nothing holding me strong, nothing holding me steady
It’s like the arms that I once relied on for strength and support
Got swept away in a current of their own
Or never grew the foundations and courage to step into the eye of the storm And hold on
Or the eyes that saw me when I was invisible stopped taking the time to search out my face through all the chaos
And the person to whom I felt a belonging and a connection with started up the storm
Then left me to its’ devices
To float out on an open sea full of sharks waiting for blood
Or teenagers waiting to rip you open and expose you for something you’re not
And fight this battle alone
But I promised myself I’ll survive, I’ll stabilize these tectonics
And I’ll find a way to be whole again
(copyright 2013 AMRG3)