Don’t be fooled by piano player hands,

Or fingernails like Mozart’s teeth- illumined pearls, at least in your head,

And woven in the cartilage beneath, wisdom instead.

 

He needs constant reassurance, and if you have no patience

Then leave him before he gets attached

Because he sees comets in tear trails, and your footprints in animal tracks.

 

He’s worth the ant bites you get waiting for him outside on your driveway,

Because even when he’s mad he’s apologizing for himself, his love, his pain,

And he’s difficult, and infuriating, but love him just the same.

 

He was nine when he threatened to kill his father, and

Sixteen when the gun was held to his head. Don’t think he hasn’t been through anything,

Just hold him when he cries in the shower, in the car, in bed.

 

Don’t tell him he has Attention Deficit Disorder, and hold his hand

Even when he’s driving. Tell him his stomach is beautiful,

When you were starving yourself, he was starving from the idea of surviving.  

 

Ask him his favorite color, and buy him records for no reason.

Kiss his hand because he loves that like he loves your smile,

I promise it will be worth your time and while.

 

Don’t ask him to go on medication for depression, or anxiety,

Or PTSD. He might have all of that, and you know he does,

But let him live the way he wants because

 

If we went back in time, he’d be the life boats that the Titanic needs.

It didn’t work with us because I’m an iceberg- too frozen by fear to give him enough,

Too cold and steady to join him and bleed.