All I’ve seen, all I’ve seen, all I’ve seen is

A dreamlike world where my eyes are blurred and my mouth knows words but

They have never been heard by the ears of those in existence

Here and now

How dare I keep my lips shut?

How dare I waste your 02 on two words, never new

Shut up, shut up, shut up

How dare I repeat words unnecessary to the world

And deny those necessary of attention

Fuck you for allowing me

To create c02 to kill everything I fear will never accept me, see you later sanity

I am finally free and I will speak.

I hope you’ll understand.

 

All I’ve ever seen, all I’ve ever been

Is a particle

A part of a comical world

A participant in a sucker punch show where I was told I could grow to be whatever I want at 5,

Surprised I was still alive at seventeen because at twelve I tried to slit my wrists

Because the world has never been honest to a young black woman who wants to hug it,

I’ve been madly in love with life since the moment she granted me her endless skin

And every moment I ask myself where I’ve been, I realize she is in my skin

But this world

This fucking world denies me her charity

I feel like I have a hard on for existence but society won’t let me cum

And these blue balls are as painful as the word nigger must’ve been to my ancestors

But when it comes out of my mouth with misshapen vowels and proud vernacular,

Corporate America shudders in fear,

And when I am not ashamed to be a bitch he stuffs his ears with swabs

How does that cotton suit you now, mister Crow?

 

All I’ve heard are a slurr, slurr, a slur of words

That I am impervious to

Bitch, slut, nigger, cunt, fatass, fag

I’m an afro-latina with abundant curves, a clit between my legs that has deemed me inhuman and an insatiable desire for similar body parts

I’m a quadruple minority

With hate coming from four directions

But what we seem to forget is that minority doesn’t make you minorly human

and that the majority doesn’t make you mostly right

So when I bastardize your insults I am redeeming your hatred and giving myself love

Love, love

All I want is love,

All I want is love,

All I want is to see Martin Luther King’s dream cemented in certainty without frivolity or if, ands, buts,

I don’t want your half-smiles or your half-conviction to my cause,

I want your devotion to humanity.

I’ve seen beautiful people get the ideas beat out of them,

I’ve seen the savvy fall silent when ignorance grows inquiet  

The richness of ethnic blood get slit from wrists that reach down from my blue heaven above and pull me up every night I feel I can’t live past darkness

I feel hate form

And I want to hate back

But all I hear is

Only love can do that

Only love can do that

Only love can do that

Only understanding can free you from mental slavery, from shackles with the essence of every underdog being

But only a voice can free the masses

Only an uphill battle can fuck up the fascists and give us a community.

To the ignorant, I hope you understand.

 

All I’ve ever dreamed, is to be a fiend

A mad ball of energy flipping and tipping into frenzies of envy and happy, zapping into sappiness and moving into solitude and serenity

Nights with the city lights and hennessy

A notepad, a blunt, words

All I dream of is vanity because I want to be seen from every angle of humanity

I want to possess prowess, pride, pizzazz sans class

I want to be vulgar and loved in a world where breasts are censored and my cunt is an enigma

And I find it funny how women are put down when I could make myself cum by the time I was 11 yet 80% of women can’t orgasm

Tell me patriarchy, how does a woman oppressed taste?

Can your taste buds comprehend the unwavering fear of a female who gets jeers when she says I love fucking?

Can you imagine the discomfort of walking a street with prodding eyes, perusing and poking at us like cattle?

I think you can.

But I think you try to imagine cherries when your tongue feels bland, I think you know your daughters deserve men who will respect them and not LET them speak, but will listen

And I fucking dare you to tell me to get back into the kitchen.

I dare you to make a mockery of a woman who refuses to sit down,

I refuse to sit around while you tell your daughter to close her legs instead of telling your son to look away

I refuse to have weakness be a synonym for femininity when my body was forged with the power of humanity,

I refuse to be told of my inadequacies when the national debt is imaginary and your debt to a depraved society is solidarity.

To the patriarchy, you better fucking understand.

 

All I’ve felt is welts in my self-esteem from attempts to make my weight melt,

All I’ve heard is inquiries of how much I lost,

Never how much I’ve gained in confidence from the boost of being intelligent,

Of being tolerant,

I’m not trying to be a size 2 because there’s too much love diluted in my lipids, you’d be deluded to think I’d want to lose this,

All I feel is cute bumps and lumps like LSP,

And ohmyglob, I’m a beauty.

And I regret time wasted,

Hating myself because you hated me for no reason more than I have more love than you

And to everyone who told me I’d be pretty if I was skinny,

All my thick girls, hug yourselves and say

I’m no optometrist, but I think you need your eyes fixed because my beauty lies in every inch of me,

Like a forcefield of sunflowers set to absorb your nuclear rays of negativity

I am a force, not a farce

I am incredible, lovely, smart

I am not fat, I have fat

I have love, I am love, I am loved, I have me

I am a blooming sunflower in Fall and your opinions can trip accordingly.

So to the hateful, I can speak love to you and hope you one day understand.

 

And to the world, I hope you understand that I am not anything less than a human.

To the world, please accept me

As your particle,

Part of what makes you,

Capable of saying two new words I never thought I’d use

To the hateful

Love me.