Hidden In My Pupil

 

In these eyes

there misconception

But my conception is disguised by my bland affection

To try to cope with everyone's perception

Of me

 

My mom gave me contraception

Because these boys are full of deception

Knowing I don't need depression

I accept the offer with no regression

 

You see

My conception is based on

Heartache, backache, feet ache

And a big ass HEADACHE

All he said was I need a break

Since when was he an actor

Ready for his second take

I'm not a relationship man

He said

Damn

I was just apart of his master plan

So don't tell me the liars and cheaters are fake

Because that is a trip down memory lane I ain't dying to take

 

Behind these eyes

Lies insecurity and instability

When I try to stride to my full capability

I am always pushed down

By a failure to look the same

As everyone else

I am looking for security in my skin

But workplaces to busy

Trying to hire thin

Flawless Hair

Make up on

Since when did being curvy, natural, and still beautiful become a sin

This is a dog eat dog world

It’s way too late for big girls to win

 

Behind these eyes

There is fury and determination

I want to stand before a nation

Of equals

Because although my race has met some equality

My skin still conjures up

An irrationality of stereotypes

So yes I put on a straight face

I am determine to succeed

So my mom can stop pacing

My brother stop spacing

He always escape in those kush clouds

Cause he tired of the hate

I smell my victory in the distant

It reeks of money, brains, and my unforgivable blackness

 

Behind these eyes

Is love

Love for

The baby mamas

The single mothers

Working grandmas

Hell! I even have love for the deadbeat fathers

My heart is so big

It is like the US

Without no immigration clause

My love is like a python

It constricts you

Until its unbearable

I refuse to love for fake

It's simply a gift

God has blessed me

With love that is true

So I cannot bestow upon

You anything less

My love has no pause

No reset, no play, no rewind

Love is in my nature

It’s just how I am designed

 

If you can't already tell by this 6 stanza poem

That behind these eyes

Lies a beautiful girl

That is disregarded for taking

Pride in her own skin

A girl that has bags underneath her eyes from her consistency to achieve

Those bags are evidence she ain't stopping until the world beneath her feet caters to her

Until society finds a home on her side of the fence

A girl that loves so strong it can bring heaven and hell together

These eyes seen it all

And no matter what

This girl was never destined to FALL!

 

Destany Boykin

June 5, 2014

 
Guide that inspired this poem: 

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