I Didn't Say No
To the You from that night:
I hope that you know.
Did you consider the torment,
that trickled broken onto the sheets?
Or that my silence was
plethoric with pleas
and shouts
muffled in shock?
Did you consider the water,
that unwillingly grazed my eyes and fondled your tongue?
Did you consider
that it wasn’t okay
and that neither was I?
But…
Was it?
Was I?
Because of Courage
or lack thereof
My being, my soul
was silenced by
my Mouth.
I didn’t say it.
I didn’t say
No.
My fault, my problem, my fault, my problem...
No?
We were friends, so it’s friendly,
wholly okay…
Never that word, always taboo
Can’t call Me a victim…
It happens. Like a Cold.
I can move on...
No?
Blurry vision, confusion, and
panic illusions
why am I delusions and
painful conclusions
harrowing Intrusion
harrowing Intrusion
harrowing Intrusion
har
row
ing
In
tru
sion
intrusion intrusion
No.
I thought that since
You knew me...
permission sufficient through friendship.
No.
I should have gone home shouldn’t have worn it should have stayed sober shouldn’t have lost it should have told you stop shouldn’t have cried should have wanted to.
Because You weren’t
Just some random Guy.
So it wasn’t wrong. Or wrong.
No.
I never said
No.
But You
should’ve
kNown.
Because I couldn’t say
Yes,
you
kNow?
From a
broken Me,
Years after
that Party.