I Wish It Was Different Between Us
Dear Roselande,
I wish it had been different between us
I wish we had the relationship that daughters have with their mothers
That one where we smile when we look at each other
I wish you were here to get me a new dress on my 6th birthday and tell me to twirl
I wish I had you by my side in this cold world
To hold my little face and remind me
That I am beautiful
I wish I could call you mommy,
I wish I could look into your eyes
with love
I wish you showed me what a mother’s affection looks like
I wish the mornings were full of kisses
The afternoons
full of laughter
I always wanted you to take me on a trip
But instead you took me to a world of darkness
Where I never got to see you again
Left me down the street, with no warning
Confusion- What happened? Where did you go?
You could have been here to watch your little girl grow
In my teens years
I wish you were there to comfort me,
If I came home,
went straight to my room
crying,
ou would ask me what happened.
You would insist.
And when I refused,
you would bring me treat
and lay by me,
Telling me everything would be
Okay.
Roselande, I will tell my daughter about you
When she’s telling me how her love ones disappoint her
I will remember your name and mumble it under my breath
And when she asks me what did I say
I will tell her that I know what it’s like not be loved by the closest person to your heart
I will tell her that I know what it’s like to feel so alone in this world
But the only difference between her and I
is that I will forever be by her side
Sincerely, Gerdine