If it makes you happy

I love you he said as we celebrated our one year 

he made it a habit to whisper those three words in my ear, 

I loved him back everything was just so perfect to me 

Like a fairytale those you see in the movies almost like Romeo and Juliet but that's exactly how I wanted to be,

But it didn't stay that way for long ,

Of course I was naive at 15 I was to naive to know right from wrong 

Once I realized I had spent my past year with him by my side 

Day in and day out he was at my house or I was at his almost like we were tied 

I made plans with my friend to go to the mall trying to catch up with my social life 

Not the right decision according to him 

"you're obviously cheating on me , who are you going to meet up with is it that science parter of yours? I bet it is I should've known you would've done this to me " 

"I'm sorry I promise I'll cancel I'll do it if it makes you happy "

"Yes Please cancel baby I'm sorry you know I'm just jealous but that's all because I love you baby "

Next thing I know I'm making a call 

"Hey sorry I can't go my parents aren't letting me out the house maybe next time ?" 

Deep down I knew there wouldn't be a next time 

"Baby I can't make it to pick you up my parents aren't letting me out the house tonight "

That same line I used to lie to my friend is the same line he used to ditch me on our date

But I was too naive to notice it thinking oh maybe it's because it's late 

My friends told me he was out cheating on me & I told him what they said

"cut them off baby you don't need negative people getting into our relationship "

"but they're my friends I can't do that " 

"you'll do it if you really love me or what do you not love me ? , are you trynna accuse me of cheating? , are you trying to break up with me ?" 

"No baby I'm sorry I'll do it if it makes you happy "

"yes baby you know I do this because I love you "

Once my mom found out I had no friends she told me I was in a toxic relationship 

i let him know what my mother said he told she didn't understand our relationship 

"If she's too blind to see that our love is real stop talking to her runaway with me " 

"No why would I do that I refuse to she's my mom "

"Honestly I feel like your lying to me like all you wanna do is find excuses to break up with me is that it ? Are you trynna cut off our relationship? " 

"No baby I'm sorry I'll do it if it makes you happy"

"baby I just want the best for our relationship because I love you "  

our year and a half came 

of course he had to shoot his aim 

"Baby it's been a year and a half & we haven't had sex yet "

"I'm sorry baby I'm just not ready "

"I've waited for you for a year and a half of course you're ready or what do you not want to do it with me is that it ? , you still think I cheated on you don't you ?  , what is it ?"

"No I'm sorry for making you feel like that I-i-ill do it if it makes you happy "

"I told you you were ready , I'm doing this because I love you & I can't wait "

it was always this way i kept on letting him sink me into his spell 

it was always "I'm sorry I'll do it if it makes you happy" 

But it didn't make me happy  

He used the guilt card constantly then claimed he did everything because he loved me

pleasing him was what society taught me to do ,

What I was taught keeps a relationship moving ,

No this doesn't keep a relationship moving 

a relationship is based on trust ,

a relationship is based on consent,

a relationship is based on love 

true love, where you mean it where it has a meaning behind it & is not just getting thrown around to cover a mistake 

there should be no "I'm sorry I'll do it if it makes you happy " 

there should be "if it makes both of us happy it should get done if your not okay with it then we don't need to do it " 

Dont let nobody tell you what to do notice a toxic relationship when you see it 

 

 

 

 

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