Keep Ya Head Up

Location

Oakland
United States

Keep Ya Head Up

June 14, walking from practice heading over to my grandma's house to do my homework. I remember it vividly, it was a beautiful day the sky was blue with no clouds as far as the eye could see. Walking down the hill got to the tree streets: Birch, Cherry, and Holly sweeter and brighter than others. Kept walking up a little bit more until I was at the alphabets: D, C, B, and A Street the ways of their world seemingly elementary. I crossed over the tracks into a much familiar Oakland, an Oakland full of the mountains and valleys of life. I hit the corner of Edes I could see the crackheads, the men selling drugs, and the babies, the future, in the car watching their parents cope with the evils of the community. I sang a sweet song in my mind, Just Friends by Musiq, and kept my head up and walked past the realities of "Tha Hood". Each step was one of awareness, always watching my surroundings, like a soldier in a foreign land.

I got to my grandma’s house, entered the fence and took a deep nutritious breath of comfort I was in the safest place in my world. The journey of life had taken a toll on me, and I decided to take a nap and do my homework later. I woke up at around 5:30 and began to do my homework, I never really understood why homework was necessary but in order to advance in America you have to play by their rules, so I proceeded. Then the clock hit six and the little bells of the clock began to chime and sing, like girls playing double Dutch in the park.

It is night now and the wind cries like a motherless child, all of a sudden my mom runs into the house and says that my cousin Regginae AKA Nay Nay was shot at around six. In my mind, I was like, “damn she going to be alright and then we going to be joking about how she survived and how she is like 50 Cent now." I went back into the room and watched some TV, Martin to be exact. Around nine, I hear my mom scream; the same scream I heard when my uncle was killed in 2012. She gingerly walks in my room and tells, in a sullen and cold voice that my cousin is dead; she was killed at a repase for her own friends. The words hit me repeatedly until my ears started to ring. My mind sunk to a place of darkness, like an endless game of hide and go seek; it did not want to be found. The fact that as I was pushing my pencil eraser to get more lead, these "niggas" cocked the gun back to get more lead but the only difference is they took a life and I was bettering mine. All over a dice game, one man rolled a seven how lucky, but when his homie came back with the gun, my cousin was not so lucky. Her sweet and innocent blood trickling slowly, like the current disposition of my stream of conscience.

The next morning was a blur; my mom had to go to work so I caught the bus to that same corner of Edes. As I walked down the street, I saw all the realities of “Tha Hood” and was no longer able to simply ignore it and I was troubled. The once bustling and active neighborhood was as silent as the dead were, and gray like them to. I opened the fence to my grandma’s house and was unable to take that deep breath, the world took what was mine and I lost hope. I walked in the house to see my beautiful little cousin sitting at the table drawing,

I asked her, “Imani what is that”

She said, “It's Nay Nay with Uncle Lemuel in Heaven”

I smiled and slowly walked into the bathroom and cried; cried for my family for we lost a beloved, cried for all the children who have died at the hands of the world, cried for myself because I knew I would never be the same.

To this day, I have thoughts of revenge, I think that "Karma is a bitch" and he will get his. That is not what she would have wanted, and sometimes I pray hoping that the killer has peace in his lifetime. Inside my grandma's fence, I am safe like the rest of my family, outside of it, it is a cold world and we have to pray and hope for the best. To my cousin, who taught me how to throw hands and how to Mack on girls, save me a spot in heaven by you so that when I go we can be together. 

This poem is about: 
My family
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741