Dear Little One,

How are you?

It has been only a few years since I last came home to find you waiting

It still pains me to know I have to keep on going like this for the rest of this life

The despair, heartbreak and anger linger underneath the smile

The feelings that I cannot seem to let go though you would want me to in the afterlife

 

To hold you, to see you, or kiss you once more is all I desire

Even to just say those three words that don’t do any justice for what I feel

Many regrets but the loved filled memories outweighs the burning fire

I am sorry I didn’t stay with you, oh God how I wish I did

 

Why did I let you go?

 

I remember the pain I saw in your beautiful brown eyes everyday up until that fatal day

Your back legs weren't as they were before and seeing you try to stand everyday knowing it

was causing you pain, I just couldn't...

Please believe it was the hardest decision I ever made

I remember seeing the need to comfort me in you as I tried to stay

Bitter tears ran down my face, the echo of a soul breaking

The agony in knowing I was letting you go in order to stop the suffering was better than prolonging

the inevitable

 

Faith. Faith is all I have now. Faith that you are in good hands, running, and having that

Tremendous voice heard across the sky as I listen to Patience by Take That when

A heartbreaking cry is heard as your human falls to the ground, wondering

 

“What If?”

 

Thank you for cherishing, comforting, caring, and protecting that little girl

Wrapped in pink in 1999 and still doing so now

Remember that promise I asked of you.

"Promise you’ll stay until after the birthday? And if then God wants you I’ll let you go."

It must have hurt you waiting until that little girl was 15 but you did.

Forever you will be my best friend, I miss you…..

I hope that you are proud of us and who we are becoming princess

You never broke my heart until that day unlike the world has

 

If there is one thing that you taught me that I will carry with me until the day I am gone

from the face of this world is to: love unconditionally

And I swear to you I still do to this day for those that are family and those considered

Family. I love you and that love keeps me together even in these dark times,

You are the light that will for eternity guide me.

 

With love,

Your Little Girl Jocelyne