Looking for Love

I’ve never been in love.

So I’m shaking things up,

writing a love poem but no I’ve never been in love.

 

 

Thought I was, once. But I wasn’t, it was just a crush.

My mom not too long ago stopped me in the middle of a story I was telling

to inform me that I had never been in love before.

 

 

I said, “Mom, That’s crazy! I’ve had like so many girlfriends.”

She said, “A relationship doesn’t equal love. You’ll see.”

At first, I was so mad. Of course I’ve been in love.

You know, thinking about them all the time,

wanting to talk to them every second of the day,

wishing you were with them more even when you’re right there next to them.

 

 

And that’s when it hit me, I wanted more.

More of every person I had ever been with even when I had their all.

That’s not love. That’s just loving the idea of love.

 

 

I’ve never loved but I’ve seen love unfold before my eyes. It’s quite nice.

The love I grew up with knew it’s place.

I think the reality of love is that it’s self-contained.

It need not hunger for more than it’s stomach can contain.

Love, like a flame, knows its place in the candle and doesn’t wish to spill like hot wax to cover more than it should.

Everyone rejoices about love as a pure product of the heart with no cognitive involvement, but I think love is much smarter than we give it credit for. Love knows it’s limits and capabilities.

It understands deep down that it cannot give itself out without first being so fundamentally realized to the core of its host.

 

See, I said I’ve never loved anyone before, just the idea of them. And that includes myself.

I fall in love with what I could be, the ideal me,

but in reality I wouldn’t give my real self a second look if I passed him on the street.

I wouldn’t sweep me off my feet.

If I saw me across a crowded coffee shop my heart would carry on with it’s regularly. scheduled. beat.

I’m someone I’m not even sure I’d want to meet.

I couldn’t have loved anyone before because I didn’t love myself first.

 

 

But, I’m trying. I’m learning what it means to love thyself and I’m slowly applying.

Baby steps now but I hope to be flying.

And I hope that love radiates outward and translates in bounds for whoever I find in the greater beyond world.

I’m looking for love, and I’m looking inward.

This poem is about: 
Me
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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