It could be a month

It could be a year

But he wouldn’t know

But he wouldn’t care

Because you see him there

Sitting alone dreaming

Dreaming of better days

Dreaming of when times

Were so much easier

But he never had those

He comes back to reality

Through blood dripping down

With his flesh on display

He will smile through the day

And cry through the night

For his friends he is happy

For his family he is great

Then for himself…

He is broken

He lets his pain out in anger

And his rage out in hurt

Lost and insignificant

Searching for something great

He walks out in hope to find

The one thing that can make him

Feel the most alive.

Standing on the edge of death

He feels a hand hold him back

As scared as he was he steps back

Counted as a lost soul

He cries in the arms of a stranger

Little did he know that stranger,

That stranger was his father

The same father who left him

Left him to be the man his mom

Couldn’t have.

The man who was meant to be a child

The same man he failed to be

The man who gave the responsibility

To his little sister through disorder

Through mental illness he was weak

But little did he know

She was more broken than he

And lost in her mental pain

She started to inflict pain

The story of her life mapped

Out on her skin

The story of her life

Stained by tears on her cheek

Both so broken they choose

To disappear and never

Be found they hold hands

Stand on the rail

She jumps and doesn’t survive

The father who left them as a child

Stands there holding him tight

Telling him

“Now she will be alright”

But his anger burns up

And this man who holds him

Tells him to breath

More the boy listens

The further from the pain he gets

The man who once left

Called for a bet

Soon enough flashing lights

And siren calls

Marking the day of his

Sisters death, where is his mom

The one woman who swore

She would never leave

Where is she now?

Calling and calling with

Her end un-answered he realized

She had died a long time ago

Mentally and then physically

Breaking down in tears

He steps back up on the edge

Fighting between reality and death

He screams at the top of his lungs

“I miss them daddy! I miss them!

Maybe if I leave I can catch them

Catch them before they leave

Before they leave me behind

Before I’m left with the man

Who once left, daddy tell me

Now if I jump will I see

Will I see them again

Will I be able to hold

Them in my arms

Daddy if I leave now

Will I be a man?

After you left me to be

The man who you couldn’t be

I failed you daddy and I’m sorry

I’m sorry I never wrote to you,

Daddy I’m sorry I lied

Just to get them by

I’m sorry I’m not the man

You wanted me to be

But to make things right

Daddy I must leave”