My Drug

Music found me.

Christ saved me, made me new.

But I, threw it all away

When I let him destroy me

He didn’t know

I thought I could save him

But I lost myself along the way.
I changed…

I cared less, I stressed less

Which is not always a bad thing

But..

I took it too far.

My opinions changed

Some for the better, some for worse.

He overcame me

I felt beautiful and confident and for the first time in a long time I felt

Happy.

At least I thought.

I was too blind to understand how I had let him kill me.

Without him

I feel lousy;

Ugly, self-conscious, stupid

I dug a hole for myself too deep to climb out of

He was the only thing that made it better.

He was like a drug

The more I got the more I needed

And the worse I felt after

Slowly I was killing myself

I couldn’t see it.

I let him in.

I asked for more

I say he destroyed me

But in the end

There is no one to blame

But me.

This poem is about: 
Me

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