No Long Ants

Location

11040
United States
40° 44' 6.3672" N, 73° 41' 16.4688" W

You were never put together properly.
Joints glued, pierced, taped together---
You were a statue,
hollow inside and unmoving
stoic in the delivery of hate against me.
I once feared your heartbeats,
your labored breathing.
Because I have lived like an ant
beneath your foot
Waiting for the thick soled boot to fall
And crush me
All legs and guts,
Blood red—
Your calcified soul does not know that
the time between
my heartbeats echo strong.
But I know.
You thought I was nothing.
But I am more than you will ever know.
I was sanded down, barely
breathing or daring to
achoo
since you gathered my grains,
separated my heart
from my head,
and stored me away.
Because it was my fault?
Because I was different?
I understand now, though,
counting the red stars and
those of blue color too.
You feared my potential-
My love for the word and the pen.
We are not that far apart,
not scattered ashes across seas
mingling with the dust of other
lost souls
who ache like us.
I was a knife going in.
Piercing your little,
Shriveled black heart
Twisting your inability to return
my humanity.
It seemed I was your darkness.
But you were mine.

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