OFFICIAL APOLOGY AND RESIGNATION OF IMPORTANCE
To whom it may concern:
i.e. parents, teachers, friends, and family
Yes, here I am again
Pockmarked with the tears of self pity
And I love the scars on my face
I embrace them
And I elaborate on who I am
To make myself seem small
Thus bringing in other's pity for me
And really there is no way to apologize
Because the other person ends up
Forgiving me or saying
"That's okay"
And I know it's not
I want to apologize for being me
Because I am a truly terrible person
But those marks will only grow deeper
Because I refuse to stop them
And others will gratify my horribleness
I'm sorry for the pain I've caused and
Don't pretend I haven't
I'm sorry for sucking so much
Don't say it's okay because it's not
Say that I'm right and I'm terrible
It's not fine and neither am I
But that's a story for another time
For now, I expose my self pity and ask you
Don't do it for me I do it enough
Ignore my elaborations of hatred
And self doubt
I am pockmarked with the tears of self pity
And I know it's my own fault
I await your reply but never expect it,
Because I know I don't deserve it,
- Olivia