The Old Lady in the Candy Cottage

There was an old lady deep in the forest

 

Her house was much sweeter than all of the rest.

 

The walls were of cookie, chocolate and sugar

 

The inside was sweeter than the outside by far

 

Each day the old lady baked more and more sweets

 

But not one morsel would she ever eat

 

She guarded her home from thieving creatures

 

Missing a single crumb would ruin its features

 

Nothing made the old lady gleam with such pride

 

Than her delicious candy cottage on the quiet mountain side

 

One day, two children came moseying about

 

While the cottage was empty and the old lady was out

 

Selfish young things with a hunger for sweets

 

The greed of their sweet tooth nothing could beat

 

Once they spotted the cottage and found no one there

 

They gleamed at each other and said “should we dare?”

 

“Why yes we should Grethel, how could we not?”

 

“But Hansel, my brother, what if we get caught?”

 

“Don’t worry sweet sister, no one is here!”

 

“Very well! Let’s go eat, Hansel my dear!”

 

They ravished and gorged themselves without stop

 

Eating every part, even the roof top

 

Whilst munching, the old lady came back

 

To see her poor house that had been ransacked

 

She let out the most terrible, horrifying scream

 

That Hansel and Grethel fell from the licorice beam

 

Little did they know the house they were eating

 

Belong to a witch and they were in for a beating

 

“You destroyed my home you beastly snots!”

 

“I will destroy you and leave your bodies to rot!”

 

The old lady screamed through a river of tears

 

Her precious cottage ruined, one of her greatest fears

 

Before the kids could react, she yelled out a spell

 

That swooped them in a cage before they could yell

 

“Let’s see how you like to be eaten, you brats!”

 

And started a pot filled with spice and animal fats

 

She stewed one in a pot and roasted one in the oven

 

And called up all the other witches from her local coven

 

Together they feasted and ate their fill

 

None of the food would any of them spill

 

This goes to show, don’t be a greedy beast

 

Otherwise you might end up an old witch’s feast

 

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