A Once Jaded Light
At night I used to struggle to breathe.
Metaphorically I drowned in my own breath as I realized my room was filled with irony.
My bed was a trap and made me a prisoner of my own head,
And my thoughts were shackles, and like my tears I wanted to leave.
But I never could. My daily anxiety crippled me in the night,
And forced me to pick at my wounds.
I would always ask "Why? Why won't you let me die?"
But I never got an answer from you.
My bed is no longer a safe place!
All of my dreams are now haunted,
And i can't find refuge in any space.
I'd lost my will and existing wasn't what i wanted.
But I couldn't give up, not now not ever!
Everyday I pushed off my bed and got up
until the day it became a fruitful endeavor
I didn't give up.
I could finally breathe, my tears were no longer respirators.
A year and now I'm close to the man I've wanted to be.
My mental scars are nothing more than reminders of my sins,
and I can now live life optimistically.
I can grasp any fear and tame it.
I can make my own decisions, my own future, my own thoughts, and I can now live honestly