As the pandas die off, so do I

But I’ve been told lie after lie

That I am fine

That I’m only hyped

On some “cute” delusion

“But, is it a delusion?”

I ask in utter confusion

And i reach this subtle conclusion

That it’s really a form of restitution and major revolution

                                               

“Someone just gave me a panda!”

Before the pandas, I was in eighth grade.

The kid with all of the attention

But none of the aid.

The teen with no friends,

But the center of all of the rumors made.

The woman who was lonely

But alone never stayed

 

Then, someone gave me a panda

This could have been the pope, my mother, or a boyfriend

Point is, I named it Michael Scott

This felt like the beginning of an end

Of social rejection and emotional isolation

I finally had a friend

That I didn’t need to talk to

For him to understand

The struggles that I was forced to face everyday

 

Michael’s purple eyes

Made me realize

That I could be calm in moments I despised

But in eighth grade this was simply something I could idealize

I could not realize anything Michael’s eyes helped me see

Because I had not become me

 

“I love pandas!”

I never knew who hated me

But i assumed it was a universal feeling

I started watching documentaries about pandas

And they made isolation seem appealing

I started to appreciate the fact

That I was never quite revealing

 

At this time I was always almost starving

Much like pandas, I never knew what I should be eating

I ate all the wrong things or rarely ate

I was so underweight

And I could only relate to how the pandas ate

This made me less self-conscious

Of what I had on my plate

 

Pandas may have trouble with reproduction

But they still have better sex lives

Than the chess club whose closest sexual function

Is to penetrate their opponent’s defense

Maybe pandas just need girth control

“Bigger D’s for pandas, please!”

And while pandas have sex once a year,

Dennise has it none a year.

And while Dennise changes and matures,

pandas remain as stubborn as a bear

 

Other than our sex lives,

We are really quite similar

If necessary or provoked

We can become natural killers

We defend our families till the end

But we are really quite dimmer

Most of the time

We just sit there, eat, and think about TV dinners

Similar to how pandas eat chutes and leaves,

We can also eat, shoot, and leave.

 

“I am like a panda!”

I used to be simply comforted by the fact

That pandas act the way I act

Then I started to change

To evolve and attract

Maybe it was more of a rebirth

The egg i was trapped in, finally cracked

Or maybe I was simply maturing

In a way, this is like aging back...wards

 

These were more than just changes

Every little thing I did was much like a panda

I would eat endlessly but my weight remained in the smallest of ranges

And much like my time working on these stanzas

Pandas are most active in the earliest stages

Of the day.

Their lives are based almost entirely on efficiency

While they leave one of their cubs behind,

I only stick with friends with more than enough self-sufficiency

 

I’ve grown to become this large symbol

Black and white in a world full of grey areas

I’ve matured into a panda with nimble

Wits and with a mentality that nothing is serious

I can finally see what Michael’s eyes helped me see

Because I have finally become me

“I am a panda!”