The Price I Could've Paid for You Bullying Me...

Location

54952
United States
44° 10' 44.526" N, 88° 20' 36.1032" W

The price I could’ve paid for you bullying me….
I came to school each day because I had too,
Not knowing what the day would bring, I’d tilt my head downwards,
I was a kid and a teenager too, why didn’t anyone care to find out what to do?
I ran to the gym room in hopes that you wouldn’t find me,
Thoughts about why you’d tease me over and over with ugly words,
Only to hear the bell whistling again and again, above me,
I mixed within the crowd until I entered the door of history,
I tried to sneak out of sight of your eyes staring at me,
Only to hear words of teasing as I took the front row seat, I could not see,
I felt that my heart was so heavy and deep, my face crushed down on the cold concrete,
I wouldn’t do this to you or anyone else, so why did you have to do this to me?
You’d toss and throw my lunch at me; I didn’t eat what others did see,
I’d watch the school clock in hopes of the day ending,
Only, to return to a home just as bad as you’re bullying,
Then another day starts all over again and I’m just as lonely, Truthful or not the rumors of you laughing at me did spread,
I wished I could’ve found a safe place to lay my head,
I wanted to die each day of my life when you tortured me in the hallway in plain sight,
Kill me, Kill me, I often did wish,
As a kid and teenager, the shame and disgust you put onto me, hurt so wrong that I knew I wouldn’t have been missed,
No one not even the teachers helped save me from getting in your fight,
You tore my heart to pieces I began to hate myself,
For each day I had to go to school you bullied me too tight,
Did you hate me that much because of my clothes, my speech, or my looks?
Either way, I hope that someday you’ll understand that you killed me so much with all you took,
I wanted to run, run so far away fast but, where to go there was no one by my side to stay,
My eyes filled up with tears full of fear each day,
God, please help me survive, to be safe another day I’d pray,
I couldn’t escape your tortured hands or you damaging words that haunted me,
You blinded my eye sight so I could not see,
You damaged my face so I could not feel but, bleed,
It hurt so badly the damage is done,
I wanted so much to be your friend and not run, it really was not at all any fun, Your imprint on my heart and soul, has left my mind completely full, Why did you have to bully me, did it make you feel so proud to bring me down?
You took away my inner safe cage where I often hid from your bullying and other’s abuse,
I didn’t know if I had anymore strengths within myself I could use, I often frowned,
I was left in the cold, with no-one to hold
Now I’m older and it hurts me just as bad, because my children have been bullied just like I had,
I’m stronger and wiser to know at least I’m there to protect my children from bullies like you,
Stop the bullying and bring a person in from the cold, to have them to hold, be real and true,
I survived each day, week, and year and here I stand today wishing the pain away with my tears, because, I’ve worked so hard, I am no longer living in fear,
You may have broke my spirit for awhile, what’s seemed like forever, is now over and I can smile!!!

Written and Copyrights By: Deanna M. Culver
May 19, 2012

Comments

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression! 

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