Release

A creeping suspicion turns to feelings of neglect.

Never was I alone, yet I began to feel lonelier every day.

It's strange being torn apart by things unseen,

But what can be done about that?

 

And there are wars happening over-seas;

Mothers watch as their children starve 

And young girls are taken in the night, never to return.

I always keep this in mind.

 

Plans are canceled more often than made.

Sitting alone at lunch, and often not wanting to eat.

I tell myself I'm just paranoid.

I know I'm not.

 

Graduation comes and goes and still no word 

from those I thought I loved.

Always busy, never time.

But always time for someone else.

 

"I thought you could handle being ignored for a while."

"Don't be so dramatic."

"I just can't do this anymore."

This is all I get when I try to speak my mind.

 

And there are hurricanes raging to the north,

And forests are being torn up by their roots,

And over 42 million Americans go days not knowing

Where their next meal will come from.

I should be happy for the life I get to lead.

 

I begin to beg to speak to people I used to see everyday.

I bargain as best I can.

I get mad. I speak out.

I am labeled as the bad-guy.

 

My father gives me an old pocket knife.

My world becomes crimson as I get used to the pain in my hand.

I tell myself never again.

And then I get another text from her.

 

I feel an unbearable pressure press down harder with every message.

It gets difficult to breathe.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm blocking your number."

I run.

 

My vision goes black 

I thrown my phone to the ground, 

as if that will undo the conversations that were had.

I keep running.

 

Over a hundred miles between us now, 

And still her presence consumes me 

As I go back to that dull blade.

It hurts less this time.

 

Emptiness is all I feel.

My body becomes numb.

And it's all my fault.

I really am alone.

 

And there's an election happening soon,

And penicillin is the most common drug in the world,

And teen pregnancy is at an all-time low.

And I should be happier than I am.

 

Long blonde hair and endless enery.

Red Flannal and a need for adventure.

I meet them at just the right time,

And they show me that it's OK to feel things.

 

Sunrises on the prarie 

And poetry readings at coffee houses I didn't know existed.

I begin to appreciate the colors of the leaves as they change.

And they show me that it's OK to try.

 

Unexpected smiles and feelings of excitement.

The first in months.

And I have fewer bad days,

And they show me that it's OK to move on.

 

Thinking of her less,

And realising that things happen for a reason.

Knowing that I am better now than I have been for the past year.

And they show me that it's OK to hold them accountable for their actions.

 

And the sun filters through the leaves in ribbons,

And the creek is always so clear,

And old books have that exoticly familiar smell.

And I am happy.

 

I find my worth,

And I begin to forgive those who made me feel I had none.

As the air fills my lungs, I trap it there for just a moment too long,

And then I release.

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741