Once there was a miller poor

Who had his daughter, Lorraine, and some land

Yet he had delusions of grandeur

So he wagered the Prince his daughter’s hand

 

“Gold” he cried, “The girl spins gold”

The Prince’s eyes blazed with greedy delight

Sudden dread turned the miller’s heart cold

For the selfish Prince stole away Lorraine that night

 

Distraught, the miller beat his head

“I have surrendered my Lorraine to a nasty snot”

“How will I save her! What if she’s dead?”

That’s when he gave Rumpelstiltskin a thought

 

Rumpelstiltskin and the miller were old friends

Once fellow gamblers, but no contact since

So the miller set out to make his amends

And convinced Rumpelstiltskin to con the Prince

 

Off to the palace, the little man zipped

A devious plan brewing in his brain

Into the Prince’s Royal Reserve he slipped

And nabbed some gold bars to save Lorraine

 

In the dungeon he found Lorraine sobbing

With the miller’s borrowed tools, he turned bars to fleece

And neglecting to mention the Prince’s robbing

He spun until morning and did not cease

 

The next day when the Prince descended for a look-see

He gaped at the mounds of fluffed up gold

But because his greed was as big as the blue sea

He commanded Lorraine to spin more, tenfold

 

So every night, Rumpelstiltskin secretly plundered

Spinning gold wool to pull over the Prince’s eyes

And now Lorraine, by her father’s debt unencumbered

Agreed to marry the Prince anyhow; Quite unwise

 

Frantic with the fear of not keeping his word

Rumpelstiltskin pondered a way to coax Lorraine home

And thinking ahead, a sudden realization occurred

Lorraine would soon have a baby, no bigger than a gnome

 

So, threatening to reveal their golden fleece hoax

Rumpelstiltskin presented Lorraine with an ultimatum

“You will grant me your first-born child, no jokes”

“Unless you can pronounce my name, verbatim”

 

Rumpelstiltskin knew his name was whacky and weird

And knew Lorraine would eventually follow her baby home

But that she would follow him home, he never feared

And in his bathtub she overheard him sing through the foam:

 

“Scrub-a-dub-dub and dance and sing

I have swindled Princes and Kings

Cunning and trickery is my game

For Rumpelstiltskin is my name”

 

Overjoyed at her cleverness, Lorraine repeated

Shouting his name back loud and clear

“That’s not fair at all,” he cried, “You cheated!”

But she could rightfully keep her child so dear

 

Rumpelstiltskin was now in quite a pickle

He had promised the miller his daughter’s return

But had wrecked his chance in a deal quite fickle

So again the cogs of his mind began to turn

 

Returning to the palace, he stirred more trouble

Rumpelstiltskin made a deal at the Prince’s throne

“Present the gold Lorraine spun, but in double”

“And I’ll triple your riches; else forfeit wife and gold you own.”

 

The Prince, ever so proud and covetous

Agreed to the bet, his vast Royal Reserve in mind

But the secret riches that were once multitudinous

Had been transformed to gold fleece, all twined

 

Entering his vault, the Prince had a nasty surprise

To see an empty cavern that once held his pride

Rumpelstiltskin, it seemed, had won the prize

And he sauntered off with both gold and bride

 

The miller was jubilant to see his daughter returned         

And further pleased by the endless golden brambles

The three lived happily ever after off the wealth they earned

And vowed never again to lose their gambles