Smile! Smile!

How strange it is to see you here, even after all these years?

Come, have you, to see me now, to see me lying in my cask?

Have you come to mourn me now, or have you to degrade me once more?

Are you unsatisfied with what you’ve accomplished? Is this not what you wanted?

How far we’ve come, you and I, and how little its been worth.

 

Do you remember when I used to smile? Do you remember when I radiated heat?

I remember my mask, the one I wore, to school, at home, and everywhere I went.

No one knew and no one saw, the lacerations that your words etched into my skin.

Nor the bruises your ignorance painted onto me. I was your canvas, red and blue.

And what a beautiful disaster you created. And what a willing sacrifice I became.

 

“Are you ok?” they’d ask, “I’m fine.” I’d reply.

And content they’d carry on. And there I laid in a pool of my self-hatred.

I never felt adequate, never the most intelligent, never the most attractive.

Even those I loved only loved my mask. The smile that was painted on to hide my tears,

The sobs projected as laughs. He’s so glad and carefree. No one knew and no one saw.

 

Imagine their shock when I was lowered here. When I was found covered in your paint.

And I could no longer wear that heavy mask, and be the actor that would win the prize.

I was weak, and you were strong, and smile, smile was my motto that I pronged,

And never cry and taste my salt. Its no one’s fault that I was not right,

Only a humorous trick by Nature herself, with whom now I’m well acquainted.

 

So why have you come to seek me now, on this warm and sunny day?

Don’t say it’s to repent and ask for my forgiveness, for the answer is surely no.

Now go and live and carry my mask, that one you crafted for me so long ago.

For one surely does reap what they sew. A tree that is rotten cannot bear good fruit.

No, no. You cannot mourn me now. Smile! Smile, and live on.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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