Toxicity in Love

I drank him in like the fifth bottle of beer.

Swallowing the toxic liquid, I relived the fear.

It is one o’clock in the morning,

I received a text saying,

“Baby, I’m home from work. Show me your body. I love you.”

Too afraid not to do as he said.

Every bit scared he would leave me.

Four o’clock in the afternoon, I receive another text.

“Stop being friends with them. I do NOT trust them. They don't want us together. I love

you, baby.”

I did as he said.

Even when I knew they were only a friend.

Too afraid of sabotage.

Every bit scared he would leave me.

Everything seemed normal,

But every bit of it was unnatural.

It was not loyalty; it was never loyalty.

It was not respect; it was never respect.

It was not honesty; it was never honesty.

It was not faith; it was never faith.

It was not love; it was never love.

Everything, but nothing was fair.

Because ‘I love you’ was an excuse.

 

From him I have learned how not to be treated.

You are not to be buried alive six feet below.

Your anatomy should not be broken or bruised,

And definitely never even be used.

You should not feel like you are drowning in the sea of your faults.

Cheating is definitely not, ‘I am loyal to you’.

Forcing will never mean, ‘I respect you’.

Lies do not define, ‘I am being honest’.

Sabotaging leaves the statement, ‘I do not have faith in you’.

Once you find any toxicity, relinquish it from your system.

Because ‘I love you’ should feel natural.

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