To the worrisome little girl I was:
Things will fall into place.
It’ll take time.
Tears will be cried.
But things will fit together again,
Even if they’re all broken now.
Dad isn’t at home anymore.
He has a new place, perfect for one.
You see him every other weekend.
It’s hard for a self-proclaimed daddy’s girl.
Mom is working multiple jobs and going to school.
She’s raising two girls, in a home she can’t afford.
You see the exhaustion wearing on her.
It’s like living with a superhero stuck in their day-time identity.
Your big sister seems to be taking it all like a champ.
She becomes a pro at packing for weekends with dad.
You see her as the perfect example of who you want to be.
It’s starting to make you feel inadequate.
Here’s the important part, though.
You’ll spend some time in another country with mom and sister.
You’ll come back and move around before settling in a new state.
You’ll find out that you’ve been at war with your own mind all along.
You’ll be diagnosed, get help, and start to see everything in a new perspective.
You’ll become happier than you’ve ever imagined.
And your dad?
He’s married to someone who takes care of him now.
You see him less than ever, but still know that he loves you the same.
There’s room at his new home for you.
He’s happier than you’ve ever seen him.
And your mom?
She’s still working multiple jobs, but finally found a career.
She raised you and your sister to be independent and free-willed.
You see that she’s finding her place in the world.
Her superhero identity is now showing at all times.
And you sister?
She’s shown you that she’s got weak parts as well.
But she turned those weaknesses into strengths all on her own.
You see that you could never even dream up a better sister.
She’s become your best friend, continually helping you up.
Things will get better.
I can not stress this enough.
So when you play that song for your mom,
remember that she’s already hurting.
She doesn’t need to be reminded that you’re hurting, she knows.
You are in pain, and it’s perfectly fine to let yourself feel that pain.