by Nestor G. Mendoza
Looking back at my childish ways,
lord knows of my devilish days.
The year I graduated Highschool.
The year I start college.
2016 was going to be my year.
Oh how life decides to shake things up
I went to get help in the summer of sixteen
Another year, another promise to myself to be happy
The weather outside isn’t the only thing that’s cold
The sadness transformed into hatred
I refuse to give up this time,
The morning sun is like a coffee
Liquid light streaming from the sky
A cup of bliss for upturned faces
Receiving the golden greeting from up high.
The morning sun is like a letter
I awake to my alarm clock screaming through the darkness.
The sound pounds unforgivingly on my eardrums, and I feel tired.
There's a crime in the mind
Of a man who rhymes about the common day times
The man who spreads lies in the form of tongue tied twists
everything i write lately has been nothing but pain
but i fail to notice all the flowers
growing from the rain
i see the storm
not the cleanse
i see a new beginning
as the end
Holding you firm while opening a birthday gift
Only five years old, with
Plenty of high expectations for a firetruck. It’s
Everything that you could’ve imagined,
The wind rushed quietly as I made my way down the backroads of my small town
Picking up speed, cruising as if there was all the time in the world
The sky was a lilac blanket, quiet and still
"The girl that on one sees
A season she can't control
Pent up emotion she cannot free
This time it's taking it's toll
Down on bended knee
Not freely these tears roll
The breaking burning plea
I’m seated in a comfy chair,
he’s running his fingers through my hair,
I’m thinking aloud as I write,
Imagination ruins and creates us,
We run with the wind or get blown behind,
Letting others distort our perception of the perfect image,
Searching for the one person to the end of the world,
You be provoking this angerwhen I simply wanna smile,I know you believe that the whole world is against usand there is no justice, but maybe it’s just usI don’t know what has gotten into me
You're tired so very tired
*This poem is the first of a pair. It's partner is called "Potentially Perfect Poison.
Uncertainty used to scare me
Until you got here
Now I’m diving in
And I don’t care if
The deeper I go
The dark overwhelms me
Because there will always be
A tiny chance
She stands looking in the mirror
and what does she see ?
what she appears
a young woman of faith
filled with promises from above
Her flaws run deep
yet she is washed clean
I ask you not to stare when I walk by,
So look into my eyes where beauty lies,
Some people’s comments make me want to cry,
JC: When darkness seems to take you on, and waters rush, and the storms brew strong:
The world is supposed to be this way.
Don’t be discouraged.
Don’t fall astray.
The weekend seemed so far away
It almost felt like the week would stay
It’s finally here,
So let’s give a cheer,
I’ll make through the academic year!
Walk by my side along this road
We’ll go over sparkling water on bridges
And underneath mountains through dark tunnels
But everywhere, it is the same – us together.
No destination set, no end in sight
A day in New YorkPracticing my favorite sportMunching on pizzaOr talking to my mother, Lisa Sitting at home on a cold autumn day,
I feel like I'm falling apart.
Like glass, shattering on the floor.
Small Doll chips away,
Small Doll likes the fray,
Small Doll knows nothing,
But the sad decay,
Broken roads engulfed with rubble
A heart apiece, blind eyes focusing
Who can stand to face the trouble
The hearts that burn, spurned
Eager to face another day, wanting
Let it go
hold it in
Hit a wall
Scream so loud
Cry like mad
I sing and feed my soul.
I dance and sing at my pleasure,
Turning and observing the stars in the sky.
Counting more than my seventeen years,
deep wonder fills my eyes.
The light shines through the leaves burning iris after iris
When they left their toys in the yard, my mind went insane.
wouldnt your mom beat you?
and your dad...teach you a lesson?
your sister yell?
your brother get stomped on?
My emotions have change for the ever more its become so much more.
The obstacles i face that is in my way, seems not to be a problem, oh how my life has change, with you right next to me,
As I'm laying here
in my bed,
cherry blossoms bursting
in my brain,
I scratch an itch
between the blue lines.
When I am on stage with my guitar I am the most honest form of myself
A small town is just that.
A small town.
The simplest things
In the smallest packages
Are usually best
The earth shakes in me like a thousand drumbeats
Drumbeats that quiver and reverberate through my bones
The tectonics shake and the supports fall out
A down pour of tears, a heart full of fear.
Don’t let me fall for I ache of the love within.
Don’t let me fall. I’m crying out for someone to help.
Don’t let me fall. If I was to drown in the world around me,
I hold a small, pink eraser in my hand
I carefully bring the ends of the eraser toward each other
Watching the middle of it stretch
To make ends meet
A shiny lock
Numbers written around the edge in a circle
I watch as it turns
Back and forth
The numbers blend together
Amd I get confused and lost
No longer sure how to unlock it
The best poem ever written, had its audience so smitten. It captivated thinkers. Sobered up those lousy drinkers. It rose up to the occasion, moved people with persuasion. It fought those moral battles, no more difficult equations.
Living life in blissHappy to live like thisNothing taken for grantedI've got everything I've ever wanted
All everybody wants it to be happy,
But how could they strive for such thing when
Happiness is the epitome of elusiveness?
Then again, some people are more hopeful than others.
Should I hold it all in...or should I cry it all out?
But I don't want to disappoint them,
I don't want to be given the doubt.
They think I'm strong.
They think I can do better.
But how can I?
If I found a way heaven
Would you follow close behind
Would you never turn back to face
A world we left behind
What if it was a mistake
Would you hate me 'till the end
Anger is pointless
Anger can thrill
Anger is useless
Anger can kill
Anger is consuming
Consuming like hate
Consuming your soul
Consuming your fate
Stay calm and breathe
it's true, I say
that the pain stays inside
that we don't know where to hide
but why? you ask
because we're broken
because we're lost
because we are alone
On her birthday a small girl gets
A tiny blank book with flowered cover
And starts to write lyrics to her regrets.
A medium girl rediscovers
A composition book with slight blue lines
I pray that love sets me free and though im blinded by hate, love overcomes me.
I pray that one day I learn to live so that I wont be afraid to die and that there remains many reasons in this world for which I will never have to cry.
Maybe I'll start today or tonite
Maybe I'll think on a daily
Maybe I'll give him what he wants
Maybe she'll recognize me
Maybe this will be the last time I feel pain
Maybe I can do this!
One day: I will wake up in the best mood.
I will go through the day without a single bad thought.
I will put on a smile that is absolutely genuine.
I will be satisfied with how I look.
I believe that you're special.
I believe that when you hear my voice you smile.
I believe that your heart skips when you see me.
I believe you love me.
I believe that you know you were wrong.
Dark Whisperer, hush up
For I am terrified
I can no longer endure
Yet another night
Of the taunting, and the pain
No longer can I stifle you
And it's driving me insane.
Because bad things happen
And then life gets hard
Hope is lost along the way
But you must hold on
Because giving up is not an option
And failure means defeat
I wonder what its like
to be happy
to be someone who isn't me
to be normal
to not have these thoughts
to be able to just "fit in"
just one of those people who's there
who every one likes
I need closure
I need to know
why you said those words
how they tasted when they left your lips
little did you know their outcome
you cant tell someone "go die" and expect them to be okay after that
I dream a dream so dear and ture.
but to see you be in such a mood,
make my dream come fade.
I want to see you dream A dream I do.
but in these darkened halls,
I see and hear no dream.
Don’t Give Up On Me
Don’t give up on me
I’ll lend a hand and meet you halfway
We will stand by each other’s side day by day
Hold you close and hold you near; please never be afraid to whisper to me your biggest fear
Skipping rocks on a still pond
not knowing the depths or how long
as it breaks the cool surface
it sinks into a rink of uncertain
getting knocked down
wave after wave
Take off your glasses
Before another second passes
Exchange them for rose colored lens
The world proably bends
from negativey to creativy
I bet you gained a different perspective
Incapable of Change
Like a paper airplane
making the same folds
since you've been this old
Unable to watch it sore
From the fears it'll crash into the floor.
You make it seem so sure
Born looking “white”
Grew up looking “bright”
Born to be a gift
Grew up on feelings I could not lift
Born to be beautiful
Grew up to be judgmental
A girl pictures herself as someone other than her.
A girl who has everything that anyone would be envious of.
She feels as though there is no hope for her.
I was cute when I was four till I was abandon and forgotten
now theirs hate, mistreating and rejection started to become common
I hate when people ask about my parent's its to awkward
Going to class shoelaces untied and I don’t mind,
Got my head down, headphones in, walking a straight line,
Keep moving forward without a doubt leave the past behind,
So, they say that words have power
that we create matter,
but all of my words
haven't felt like they have power.
I hear them laugh and joke and play.
I see their smiles as clear as day.
They’re talking to their "BFFs".
While they dance and sing, I’m by myself.
You see darkness in my eyes
The pain in the tears that I cry
You used to hold my hand
But that has come to an end
All that I ask is that you don't judge me in the end.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
We are gathered here today to celebrate something wonderful.