High school
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i was asked to decribe myself.
i am that person that is seen not heard,
i am the person that always sits in the back of the classroom,
i am the person that is always zoning out,
Scent compelling and drawing me in
working had to find a way to your heart
trying to hide this like a fish swmming with no fin
if only I could buy love
darling, you'd be in my shopping cart
I wonder what my old bedroom looks like now
those empty nights where my breathing no longer exists
will the trees notice there isn't a window to push their breeze in
my dog wondering the halls wondering why its silent
A vast landscape beckens onerous treks
Entreating tilling rocks and honest thoughts.
Paths ahead intersect, awaiting steps
Lined along eager vines and ochre moss.
12 percent of me is in the moment,
15 is withdrawn,
Because 30 is wasted on stress,
And 43 wants to right all the wrongs.
Our world seems to be fading,
Split apart at the seams
it feels so easy to let the world slip away.
old friends pass like water
through shriveled fingertips
on aching, time-shorn hands.
the evergreen forest outside brick walls
Acting like you caught up in the game
You’re so vain
It’s a shame,
You can’t even maintain
Your rep. has been stained
You try to act deep but
You still sound shallow
Full of big talk but
I love you…
Wish we could be
Barely see you now
But you still mean a lot to me
Why you have to leave?
Thought we’d sit back
Let our love cruise
But I guess
Life never runs smooth
I was a kid with composure
Experienced a lot yet,
Never saw full closure
You see…
My life was reversed
Like a turnover
By a curse
I thought hell would burn over,
Before I reached peace
Kids don't go to school anymore.
We don't learn math.
We don't learn English.
Kids learn truth these days.
Because kids don't go to school these days.
We go to empty parking lots, innocent and free.
I was willing to change for you, you know.
And I thought I've loved people before you,
they always say the first hurts the worst, so I thought it was over.
The pain, you know.
There’s no difference but I’ll still maintain the vision
Because it’s over in a minute, and when it is I think I’ll be winning
When I walk across that stage and move on
On my day of salvation.
There’s no difference but I’ll still maintain the vision
Because it’s over in a minute, and when it is I think I’ll be winning
When I walk across that stage and move on
On my day of salvation.
Out of nowhere came junior year
Having peaked in ninth grade, since then I gained weight and my face
Had more acne than before even though they told me it would go away by now.
News of a breakup spreads around as one of the victims cry
Another person with the same pain manages to keep it all inside
One person dramatically complains that they're life is ending
Times never change, Sappho//You could not weave and I could not write tonight//She asked me to write her essay for her (she hates English class) and I said yes—like a fool to the stockades//I turned my essay in late because of her but it
the mingled stench of green seaweed and salty waves
cascades the nostrils of the adolescent girl.
i feel so young
yet so awfully old all at once
i need life to slow down for me
because i can't decide who i am
or where i want to be
or what's going to come of all of this
I am not going to write about you.
I am not going to write about him.
I am not going to write about it.
I am not going to write about me.
I want to write about the world.
I want to write about changes.
And here I go again
Off to the books
Soon I'll be weeping on them
Wetting the very pages I hungrily eat through in October
I'll miss how the sun felt on my skin
You fucked up
You know that you did
We'll ruin you for it
Shit, we already did
We want nothing to do with you
Nothing, we're through with you
Jinx knew she was in trouble when she saw his name flash across her screen.
He, the almightly nail-painter, combat-boot-wearer, bipolar feelings-fucker,
he needed her.
I mean, she was assuming that's what this was about.
Dear Regret,
Im trying to move on I really am.
I know we haven’t seen each other since that night in the ocean,
and we haven’t caught up since I stayed out till 4 am back in high school,
perhaps
the story
goes differently
this time
just like
the last time
icarus falls
but this time
someone is there
to break his fall
apollo couldn't
Athens high school was home to some of the best and most talented gods and goddesses in all of Greece. This high class school was home of Zeus, Poseidon, and Aphrodite.
It’s 9:30am at Myth Shore High
A place where the children of greek gods learn and grow
As they try to fill the expectations that have been set for them
False, the kind of information you spread
Attention, the only type of interaction you crave
Kindness, a human quality you lack
Empathy, a construct you can’t understand
Before I knew it,
or had time to finish blinking
or taking a deep breath,
blue caps fell down around me
and those I have known for so long -
our tassles glittering in the fluorescent lights,
I look back at my freshman year
Blind and as ignorant as can be
To believe there was nothing to fear
My mind was exposed as far as I could see
I always spoke my mind and said what I believed necessary to be said.
When I caught mom in a drunken lie, I confronted her and argued with her.
I never minded staying up late on school nights to engage mom in a screaming match.
Swollen legs and chunks of lash glue covering my eyelids were suppose to be the problems after prom.
Instead, funeral arrangements and mournful phone calls to friends and our principal marked the day.
Debris of friendships:
Tomboy dressed obscure, playing sports while being coy.
Girls were damsels, drama queens which I was no part of: you won’t catch me.
Highschool, the Past Present, and Future
Anxious is the way I felt when I woke up on the 1st day of 9th grade. I feared becoming defaced.
He is thirteen
Navigating school hallways and people and the nooks and crannies of his developing body
But one thing he can't figure out
Is what's wrong with him
Abruptly awoken, The sky is pure golden,
My mother has spoken, and no one is scolding,
“Rise and shine, It’s approaching time!”
Now I just awake to the dreary chime…
Perspiration and butterflies
Trembles of anxiety
Drowning in blue with tangled chords-- annoying
Heavy metal hung around my clammy skin
Time and time again, we repeat,
To live previous lives,
We live and then weep,
We then warn and die,
But despite our best teachings,
Descendants are our kin,
In my eighth grade head,
I dreamt of the next year,
All the new friends I would make,
And the old ones I’d hold dear.
I started school with thrill,
I don’t know what to write
In your yearbook--I’ve already told you
Everything. You’ve told your friends
Now that I'm a "grown-up," it's time for me to go to college.
College is a canyon of mountainous buildings, each marked with a letter of the alphabet,
Each made up of halls, upon halls, upon halls, upon halls...
He spots Her; She notices.
He's so fucking hot!
She's so damn fine!
They meet, they flirt, they hit it off.
The pups develop "feelings" for eachother.
They hook up, date and fuck.
My short, silky pigtails were brushing
through the wind while you pushed me on the swings,
since my little legs couldn’t swing myself.
These are the baby teeth you forgot about
the pieces of you that you don't remember
the sweetness of your innocence
the roots of your upbringing
that passed by in rollerskates and scraped knees
Until I was fourteen I felt fine--
Good, great, and better than
I ever knew I could feel because in the moment,
I could no longer order off a kid’s menu at a sea resort
Now that I was ten
It seemed almost tragic then
To have my childhood cut short
Never to be seen again.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Stop acting like you're smart.
Those statistics are all lies.
You can't trust anyone.
Stop talking to people.
You have to keep it all a secret.
Desiring some kind of unspoken fantasy,
Destined to remain idle, for what cna be done?
Wretched, diseased, fangs clawing from the inside out.
Eager to get a taste of something shiny and new.
The highs were high:
parties every weekend, Wednesday breakfast with Grandma, 4 hour roadtrips to the middle of nowhere
But the lows were low:
The endless pages of my sketchbook are filled with ducks
Big ducks
Small ducks
White ducks
Purple ducks
And eerily incomplete ducks
Dreamin'. Breathin'. Bein'.
You said I was running late
Couldn't round first base.
No matter the fate,
I was out of my place.
Decided to change my story:
Barely ate,
Couldn't motivate,
Fourth grade is when I met him
Mr. Smith, my ELAR teacher
He didn't make words dim
He made them a fine feature
Incouraging me to write stories
To use my words to send a message
To the one who inspires me the most,
The one who consistently boasts,
You mean more than the world to me.
You taught me how to dance and be free;
She grew up in a home
where every grade mattered,
where “A” stood for average,
and anything below 100%
was not good enough.
She grew up in a school
I like statistics and I’m relying on data, my logic is
probably the lunchroom is full of a couple dozen gay kids thinking
damn, I hate how everybody here is straight
Our faces bounced off of every wall, as well
as the bodies of many with faces of despise,
Some of theirs would shrink and some of theirs would swell
My mama told me that friends come in all shapes and sizes.
The people closest to you are variations of you;
People who have qualities that you want to see in yourself.
First week of freshman year; the hallways were bright
before the bullies mapped their routes
and made it nearly impossible to get to
the good vending machines.
An occasional shove into a locker wasn't the worst
Rules, guidelines, and directions,
finding it so hard to make these connections.
Give us this, give us that,
I am from many places
And attached to few
I’ve seen many cities and schools
And buildings and parks and hospitals
And I haven’t even left Florida
From those places, come many sounds
She was 30
and wore her hair in a plain ponytail
and she taught science
at the only high school in this tiny town.
She didn't even live here;
rather, she lived in a tinier,
I hate the way some like to say,
"Man high school was some bullshit!"
Like, "I never learned anything useful!"
Oh Darth Vader Pez dispenserLying empty on a deskNo more small candies to giveYou smile coyly up at meWishing to be refilledTo be useful yet againSadly I have none to give youBut you served me well
I forgot I’m forgetting I’m forgotten
Since I got away from you for solid years,
Built up confidence like a Berlin wall that separated my mind from people like you.
I wish I was normal. I wish I was just like you.
Well, maybe not “JUST” like you, but close enough.
Close enough to fit in like you.
Close enough to blend in with the crowd
Still alone in your room
Staring at a blank tv screen
For it to reflect your image
Waiting as the time passes by
Remembering the words
Picture perfect
Picture perfect
Piture perfect
In elementary school, administration required my mom to send a handwritten note to excuse me from class
My mom always wrote in cursive
so I could not read the letter.
I felt like a grown up
Dear Almost lover,
I'm writing this because I never got closure.
It's been awhile since we've talked
and I think it's time for a disclosure
and I don't want to be mocked.
Dear Mr. Squid,
My Dear Mr. Squid
Where would I be without you
I talk to you when no one is looking
You are my only friend
Fear breaks
The crack of dawn
Tossing, turning, yearning
Hardly ever learning
People and places
Pasts and problems
Things I’ll never have the answer—
Four
Years.
Dear God,
Hi.
It’s been a while.
At least, probably longer than it should have been.
Dear Anxiety,
It seems strange to be writing to you
When you feel just like another part of me,
An extra appendage that I can’t amputate
At the bottom of the food chain
This was the beginning of my campaign
and the start of my reign
Soccer was my passtime
I begun the climb
Meeting friends and was in my prime
Dear Mr. Chavez or should I say Dad?
Such great high school memories, we both had.
You made me lunch each morning, every single day.
"I don't eat that", instead of, "Thank you", I'd say.
Dear My High School Peers,
Filled halls... head down
Breathe... breathe
Only four more years
Three more years
To my high school bullies,
Hi.
I think
Being dead
Is no relief
Running through this eternal emptiness,
My dear raging wildfire love,
It really just takes a small spark to start the fire,
But when it takes control,
It takes over, engulfing everything,
Dear Panthers,
It all is ending, fading away.
I want nothing more than to stay
In this moment with those I know,
But this town has no more space for us to grow.
Dear broken heart,
The comfort of childhood friendships
ripped away by the appeal of high school recklessness and self discovery.
As you seem to find yourselves,
Dear December 2014 Me,
You’re in your first semester of high school and finals are going well
But suddenly you feel as if you’re falling apart
Dear High School,
This is an open letter to you as I near graduation in five short months.
Because those months will not compare to almost four years of smiles, essays, and all the memories in between.
Dear younger me
Don’t grow up too fast
Stay young and simple
Oblivion does not last
Soon enough you’ll know
How much really goes on
My summers used to consist of waking up to the sun high in the sky, riding bikes around the neighborhood, and slip n slides.
But as time went on, and I got older, the neighbors moved aw
The water fights, replaced with my phone.
Dear High School,
While I write from the midst of you,
In this classroom birthed from you,
I write with extreme love and hate.
With disdain, and respect.
I no longer wake up to the “26 reasons why you love me.”
Do you remember the bright red poster you made me?
Red was your favorite color.
To the high school girls I know,
And the ones I do not,
You are so much more than you think,
In case you have forgot.
You are more than the boy who broke your heart,
Dear Loneliness,
I remember how you came into my life at the age of nine
When all my friends stood together at the front of the lunch line
Dear high school,
Why do you waste my time?
Why do you teach me junk?
I won't use math when I'm thirty,
No one will care if I flunk.
Dear teachers,
Your tangents are pointless,
These bloated
airheads pumping
their skulls
with fucking
bullshit Your
life is
a lie
While they worshipped Kardashians in high school
I was in honors society before it was cool
We are competitors
Everyday at the mark of 7:10 AM,
the bell chimes for our competition to begin
We compete for the front seats to take better notes
We compete for the back seats to sleep discreetly
I should get an Olympic gold medal, since
Every day I hear that we’re all so smart.
Experts at graphs and charts,
Eyes so small,
Dear MomI know we’ve lived together for foreverYou think you probably know most of my lifeRight?WrongThere’s so much I never told youAll the times I cried
Dear Girl in the bathroom,
It was third hour when I heard you
I knew it was something much worse than a meer flu
Why must you quietly weep in a moaning cry
Dear 15-year-old Bellla,
College is rad. College is bomb.
I am having the time of my life at Arizona State.
Why did I have to wait?
My classes are going very well.
My friends are swell.
Dear College,
I've heard a lot about you.
People say you're great, a real relationship,
so much better than high school.
But I'm scared.
Really scared.
Dear High School,
I wish that trying hard was enough to please you.
I wish that the hours I spend stressed were enough to "succeed".
Do you know that I have spent hours crying over you?
TestingOne two She is quietAerated by little white pillsWe all need to make it One last legA+ B+ C+ We’ll find our wayBlessed by scholarsDo you hear her now ScratchScratch She bubbles in her wa
The field was where
I called them my children
We hurdled through the pain
We could almost be flying
We simply throw a shot into the open
Wonderous strength is of all is one of such marvel
M, A, D, I, S, Y, N
Bringing the heavens to the earth, hiding the fears from my mind
Love the goodmornings, hate the goodnights, because I despise saying goodbye
Uncertainty is
my enemy,
my mortal dream,
my inconspicuous nightmare, and
my one true love.
Though the clock still chimes every hour,
I cannot will myself to stand upright
Lights pulsating wildly
Floor vibrating violently through feet
Chiffon and tulle swirling in brilliant pinwheels of color,
Green
Blue
Red
I can feel that it's going to rain
Yet I don't reach for an umbrella
It's the calm before the storm that I really love
Yet our storm has already happened
And now it's the after affects that haunt me
i gave you a chance
and you took it
you made me feel beautiful
and wanted
for the first time in a long time
i craved your attention
i caught myself in a trap i had been in before
Do you ever feel like you don't belong
Because you're not in a group or a click
You lie in your bed at night feeling sick
It's 1st January
Happy new year
That's all I could write on the card
I was a little apprehensive as to what you'd say
But I was a bit anxious too
Had you rejected the card or made a seen
What then?
365 Days of Pain
An eighteenth birthday,
A happy day for some,
A painful day for me
That day I became a bonde,
I've seen a lot of red
The first when leaving my mom on the first day ever
Running downstairs to show dad
Excitement, not fear, not nearves
I was too young then
Bloody noses, bloody knees
I'm making wishes,
but I still didn't do the dishes
Who would've thought
that 11:11 is all I've got?
Am I in lust?
or will it turn to dust?
The moon shines bright
They do not care about the endless hours of practice.
They do not care about how much effort we put into what we do.
We are still the outcast, the losers, the geeks.
Congratulation,
You graduated.
Now to begin the rest of your life.
Now I need you to sign away the next 4 years,
To more schooling,
And growing debt.
They caught me off guard on a normal weekday afternoon,
They matched your smile when I first saw it come through,
They danced and sparkled when you laughed at my expense;
Where has my strength gone?
I used to
I used to be so tough
Never sleeping and all
Wave by wave, I slipped up, grades sank
And now I sink too
Buoyancy, my old friend, is all I'm riding on
I saw you
Don't pretend like you didn't notice
We made eye contact
You swallowed
I watched your Adam's apple rise and fall
As nervousness formed pools over your pupils
7:53
The door closes behind me and I slip in,
Unnoticed, hopefully,
And granted free.
Late.
They walk in late.
"Sign the clipboard."
Stamp of feet as the herd obeys.
Somehow
Time flew by
And it's only two more months
Before I close this chapter
And begin the next.
An eager goodbye to most
But forced and choked out for some
But now you look
And you wonder
When it was you grew up
And you think how
Things will never be
As they were
Or as they are
And these last few months
Of one chapter
Sometimes she gazes at the world
outside her glass cage and reminisces on
how insignificant she is
in a world that can only neglect and belittle
My proclamation?
This is what I've got;
My motivation?
Consider it shot;
My concentration?
Lost it on the spot;
My procrastination?
Worse than you thought;
My generation?
A terrible year
That’s the least you could say
With every doctors that looked at me with sadness
To the words that suddenly came out
“You have cancer”
It began as it always does: empty promises, hollow resolutions, and the hope of a blank slate despite all else.
It began with the same empty conversations, the same inevitable vows for a better tomorrow.
I anticipate one day,
Someone might understand.
That wishes I made,
Would be your's to take.
The more I think,
the more I care.
When I was thirteen,
I knew exactly who
I was going to marry.
He would be tall,
and strong,
with black hair
and even blacker eyes.
He would be my protector.
Last year, everyone said that high school would be hard,
they said that the workload would increase,
and its difficulty would catch me off gaurd
I walked in to school on the first day, with a sense of nervousness,
This year was harder than the rest
Had trouble with some classes, but I tried my best.
I will never forget the friends I made,
Grades will be forgotten, but the memories will never fade.
The year is 2012 and I am not okay
The cinderblock walls suffocate me
As I listen to everyone around me
They're talking, they're talking
Talk, talk, talk
An endless symphony of gossip and jokes I don't get
The boy who played the Dad to my Mom in preschool.
The one who looks like a Who from Horton Hears a Who, and shifts his eyes when we walk past each other on the Coca-Cola stained floor of our church.
Crowds Cheer,
Confetti Falls,
Above the commotion
I hear a voice so small
This is only the beginning
Now start standing tall.
How did I earn this title?
President of the District,
I've gotten one semester through
The months left for summer are few
In the second semester I vowed to do my best
I got a hundred on my first test
My grades are all excellent, phew!
what am i?
i have seven months
to define seventeen years
in 650 words or less.
no problem;
i have plenty of time.
it's only june, after all.
beautiful souls surround me
A year ago, / I would've smiled. / I would've nodded along / and said all was fine.
A year ago, / I would've cried / from laughing too hard / and trying too much.
The future follows behind me with a stern look and a jagged plea
As competition constantly stares back at me.
In the past year I battled the fists of friend crusades
Because of the stabs of pending test grades.
They say high school is the best time of your life
But it made me hate myself
I compared myself relentlesly
To my friends who always seemed superior
I thought they had it all together
January cold crept into the air like a thief in the night,
But who knew what turning 18 could do?
Perhaps it might be met with either fright or delight,
Or could it be something completely new?
It was the Winter of my being
But outside I felt the heat.
A lot of people I am seeing
That I’m not pleased to meet.
My senior year begins,
but how am I to enjoy it?
I take advance placement classes,
she takes MRIs.
I plan meetings at lunch,
people plan visits with her at the hospital.
I dread waking up for school,
She Dances in a Dreary Mist She dances in a dreary mistA soul like iceHer movements lithe and swift She says it sends her spirits adriftAnd with that, she spun around twiceShe dances in a dreary mist To feel nothing, she wishedTo
She Dances in a Dreary Mist She dances in a dreary mistA soul like iceHer movements lithe and swift She says it sends her spirits adriftAnd with that, she spun around twiceShe dances in a dreary mist To feel nothing, she wishedTo
A light that beckons from a lamp.
The yearning of our innocence, the drawing to our roots.
It beckons you forth from the dark, it promises light and warmth.
It is only there.
You can go to any college you want...
...except private colleges which cost way too much.
You can be anything you want to be...
...except an arts major, come on don't you want to make money?
I've been chilling
Chilling and not working
I haven't done that essay
I didn't finish my homework
and I didn't even start that presentation
The powerpoint is still undone.
Know that parental and financial conditions,
flew me to another nation,
where words must go under translation.
Ordained to this situation,
I progessed through error and correction,
Knowing what I know now, I wish I could start over
I hope this does not carryover
This stress is slowly killing me
It's only a matter till I'm finally free
High school is not all football and dance
Bloodless
If in designation we find substance,
We are neither truly rich nor poor.
I know what you see when you look at me.
At least I fear as you.
She sits in the chaos wondering when her misery will end
They laugh and stare as she walks down the hall
She ask for relief but they can't fathom the thought of making an amend
Twenty Sixteen
sucked.
I complain with my friends
"wow this year sucks"
Because it's the year I realized
we're all small
and so out of luck
Deaths and chaos
I am a radioactive zone.
Danger zone, when I'm alone
In a classroom, in a crowd
Touch and you will perish.
One of those kids who
Thinks too much, who
Writes words on her
Having been accepted into a college-prep high school,
The exhilaration spread through my body like sparks.
Enrolled as a dual student in a community college,
This year was hetic
Unbelievable
Astonishing
Full of new vocabulary
12th grade year
Is a waste of time
Apply
and
Apply
for more school
for needed money
Apply
I can't make a decision, without my parents telling me I'm
Wrong.
I've almost lost my best friend over a boy. I'm
Confused.
Who am I anymore? I'm
Lost.
On Monday, she’s weary, teary, and unsure. She is sure that she’ll be able to fake a smile, but unsure if her friends and family will know it’s fake.
In eighth grade, we had Science class together. You had sat in the row behind me until the seats were switched and we became partners.
Do you know what I would give to be partners with you again?
everyone tells you how amazing senior year will be,
From freshmen year, you watch in awe as the seniors move about.
You envy them, for their achievements and accomplishments
For their prom dresses and their cap and gowns.
to ponder, to wonderto sit quitely,in your too small roomwith soft bodysurrounded by pounds of cold booksto be trapped in a cagemade of broken pencilsand lifeless ink pens
I just got out of middle school
Finally free from there
But now have woken up and realized
High school is about here
So now I get to deal with
Adult like drama
Instead of Jake is dating Ella
[Freestyle Slam] 7/12/2016
Grave me with the words left unsaid; that drowsy night under the light pole I was waiting for a man who said had loved me.
lit is lit
the written word
the modern expression
lit is lit
am i horse or girl
misinterpretation
despite careful deliberation
must get five
must get five
a juggler
Sunflower of my withering heart,Oh how you bring me warmth,Like mountains your foundationsform around my worries,your voice soothes all woes. Smile and I'll smile,
Sunflower of my withering heart,Oh how you bring me warmth,Like mountains your foundationsform around my worries,your voice soothes all woes. Smile and I'll smile,
You see me on Friday nights
Under all those shiny, bright lights
Yelling for the win.
You'd think I'm the prettiest
That everyone loves to be around me
I first started really writing poetry in ninth grade. They had a poetry slam at my school, and I had some friends who were going so I checked it out. It was so beautiful, the words they said and how they were said.
This was a visual poem that I had worked on about a year ago as a class project.
The poem is about the overall feeling of being alone that may come with moving onto new things or new places.
5 A.M.
The alarm clock goes off
like a fire alarm
waking me from my dream state.
I stumble through the labyrinth
gathering my stuff and getting dressed.
We cannot even describe the way
We look at you every single day.
You, the tormentors, the ignorant, the sinners,
Yet also the popular, the loved, and the winners.
I'm tired of trying to be someone I'm not
I'm tired of social conventions
I'm tired of always writing the same plot
I'm tired of new inventions
I'm tired of stuffing my head full of facts
So I sit here surrounded by acquaintances, friends, and best friends i've made over this short but arduous 4 years
I regret laughing,
Laughing when Haley told me he liked me.
Freshman year I had a chance to get what I wanted,
A boyfriend,
but that was ruined because I laughed.
If only you knew the way I used to feel about you,
maybe you would tell me how you really felt about me giving up on you
saying yes to your friend.
But he is sweet and kind and cares for me
It’s unimaginable that I may be slightly capableon my own to express how I feel.
The simple, heart-wrenching thought that I can’t speak on my ownis like a never ending, constantly turning wheel.
I've planned my whole life.
I'm always looking ahead.
I've forgotten the present.
I have to stop
And look around me
look behind me
slow down
breathe
study
My transition into adulthood has been accompanied by a series of mistakes. I’ve failed friends in their time of need; felt the regret a little too late. I’ve sacrificed my own self worth in trade for boys handing out limitless heartaches. I’ve ind
What moves you?
having gravity on the globe from which we walk upon
having opportunity to move around and make the world going around
What moves you?
When we first met,
I said, “I’m not too good at skating forward.”
On metal trucks, hot enough to burn the sun,
I like to think we scratched pavement
God, I hate you.I hate how you deleted me only when you found someone elseand I hate how your friends say the same things about her.I hate how you use the same goddamn places,our memories, and our pick-up phrases,
Food.
Water.
Love.
Hope.
People say these things keep them alive. And they do.
They make life worth living. They give hu-
mans the spark they need to continue on.
But when they’re gone,
“Have you ever heard of the power of words?”
He sounds like some sort of Jehovah’s Witness, standing there on the sidewalk with his books hugged tight to his chest, staring at her with eyes so impossibly wide.
This day came to a young man. A man said to be the apple of gods eye. But He couldnt understand why why why then why i am HERE! I have devoted my life since I was 15 to this I knew I needed to change the world. But the world Rejected me so cold.
I hate how nothing good ever matters to people, never counts. You’re a straight A student, but have a D in one class: that’s what colleges will ponder on.
I hate how nothing good ever matters to people, never counts. You’re a straight A student, but have a D in one class: that’s what colleges will ponder on.
Tell me I am nothing
That's what everyone else does
Tell me that I am crazy for falling in love!
Call me insane, because that is how I feel
being in love when the love is less than real
Once- the kiss was okay,
We had just come back from the fair and I couldn’t resist his blue eyes,
Smirking grin staring like me like we were about to explore a whole new chapter
As a little kid, I was told I must be the best
Be a golden star because I was always meant to shine
I got the good grades, participated in sports, did the extracurricular activities
Certain things in particular
My vision went black as I walked down my hallwayBut I wasn’t afraid,As I had been the first time it happened,And I had to sit down on the floor,Because I didn’t know why I couldn’t see
Dear Teachers,
The answer is no, I did not do my homework last night. “Why?” You ask, waiting for an excuse that will be dismissed before the words leave my lips.
in the reds and blues there be a youth,
looking toward mountain and sky,
finding the signal there:
the buzz of joshua.
the whisper of the desert pine.
I can conquer anything -
Any struggle, any strife,
All I need to do it
is my fingers and my life.
Performing is my passion.
Drawing is my dream.
I do this each and every day,
It’s 7 am and you are already here.
Nice and early, we have no time to waste.
You will rise before the sun does, because nothing about the process is natural, but it is “necessary.”
All my friends are drinking their money
They think it's funny
Losing their money
All my friends are playing with marbles
don't think it's harmful
losing their marbles
All my friends think life is a party
Stop.
Rewind.
I didn't just wake up at 5 am
to sit in a classroom full of people I can't look in the eye
I didn't answer that question with spam
I'm not thinking about the face somebody gives to you
I am putting my summer clothes away
And replacing them with my nice new school clothes.
I put away my sunscreen
And take out my school supplies.
Tommorow is the day that I begin school.
Senior Year
the Hault of the years I thought would never End
back to faceless Freshmen where faces past
Where Will I Go?
What Will I Do?
Buffer..
Buff... er...
In school
They teach us the syllabus
We listen with diligence
We memorize with our eyes
But we hear things they do not realize
It's 11:21pm and I'm questioning. Questioning my availability to not only the world, but to myself. My eyes glazed with past faces that reigned my high school hallways. The realm conquered by the beauty and hormonal impulses of young.
So I'm new here and I don't know where to go,
becomes the mantra of the alone.
pity only lasted so long.
they've moved on and so have you,
difference is they don't have any clue,
I walk across the field
With my black, shiny graduation cap on
The crowd is cheering
People are screaming
And of course students are crying
As they announce the names
Brick tiles skin in imprints.
Bloody and raw knuckles left behind,
refreshing anger stops and long sorrow christens.
I am…
A first born
A big sister
Persuasive
Independent
Manipulative
Better than most, but definitely not the best
A first generation college student
A flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
Fortitude.
It is a word I have grown accustomed to.
Fortitude.
Next to it, my God given name is found.
Strength is embedded in my shoulders proudly supporting this determined head of mine
I Am
A stunning self-confident young lady is what
I Am
A creative, wise and understanding person is what
I Am
Today's teen girl wears yoga pants and scarves
"One PSL to go, no whip, low fat,
Take a selfie for the road, no filter, #blessed
Ugh, I look so rough, #diealonewithcats"
Girl, understand, your bf will call you back
Who am I?
possibly the hardest question because there are infinitely many answers
answers that may contradict because I am not simple
then I realize I am not an answer
there shouldn't be a question, "Who am I?"
Why does high school change people?
You have kids that are mean to you when you're younger, and you have your friends.
Then those friends turn into the mean ones.
My parents don't always let me out, I don't know why.
The College Board.
What a horrid name for an
equally
horrid institution.
It decides our
futures
based on the experiences of our
pasts
to guide our
presents.
It presents us
Who am I?
I am shy
But around my friends I am loud.
I am smart
But sometimes not so much.
I am funny
But it is mostly myself that thinks that.
I am young
Another year
I go to school.
Another year
I see my friends.
Another year
I lose sleep.
Another year
I am educated.
Another year
I am anxious.
Another year
Who do you want to be?
Half-truths,
An uncomfortable smile,
A fidget.
Am I supposed to know?
What do you want to do now?
The question I've always yearned to hear-to answer.
Exams
What can I tell you
that you don't already know?
They suck out you soul
as you study
They take your comprehnsion
as you re-learn
We teenagers may gripe and complain
but....
I'm blind to lines
Except the red ones, by design,
Like loose leaf, looking higher
Seeing white, being inspired to try
By a margin of heaven
Above a sea of blue lies
It's been 7 long months since the last time I saw him.
7 long months since I've kissed him, since ive hugged him.
I used to think that I couldn't live without him, but I realized I can.
Mariah
Sure, that's me.
That is my name.
The first thing people see.
But when they let themselves in,
And pass through the door,
When they find themselves inside,
But not finding what for,
at age 13:
girls were Sluts; Bitches, Whores, or Prudes,
and we thought that the length of jean aeropostle shorts
were fuses that would lead to some dangerous explosion of promiscuity because:
Who tells a girl “I love you for your brain”?
Cute, funny, and nice seems like all I ever remain
Go to pre-k to socialize
Go to kindergarten to alphabetize
Finish grade school to add, read, and write
Start junior high to divide, swallow history, and accept the map
High school was already a hell...
stress, late nights, and humiliation the main currency,
but at least we were free to be ourselves
-at least they had that decency.
The "crisis" for my generation;
Him. A Poem
The first time I saw
Him, I was thirteen,
The classroom bold, and
My thoughts clouded with
Thoughts of him.
See a kid from high school like all the rest he just wanted to be cool.
Wanted to be the best. He Smoked what they spoke, and drank what they wrote,
Teenage angst, women wearing spanx to insecure to say thanks
can’t take a compliment their disaster’s imminent don’t really know if this is relavant but im doin this for the hell of it
I. There is no such thing as too much sleep.So when your eyes are heavy,Let them go.
So much has happened during these last few months
Friendships have broken, Enemies have formed
Even my sexuality roamed.
I don't know what to say, really
Haters exist
Deserving my fist
A picture is worth a thousand wordsThat I have always been toldBut, what about the person inside?That no one will knowDeception hidden within a smileMy eyes overflowing with lies
Who am I?
My birth name is Shelby.
But that's changed over the years; shrimp, chipmunk, penguin, shorty.
School was rough. Not always fitting in.
Graduation set me free.
Now - I am me.
Can you belive it?
It's almost over.
HIgh school as we know it will just be a memory,
A memory that will last us a lifetime.
Friends. Clubs. Teachers. Classes.
All just a memory.
I am at war.
A constant battle against myself,
against my mind, body and soul.
Longing to find the pieces of me
I once could control.
My mind was once a garden flourishing with depth.
I am not oh-so-beautiful
I am no princess in truth
I haven't a drop of royal blood
Nor silver save my filled tooth
Perhaps one may overlook me
Give me not a chance
If I could
I would write novels about this black hole in my head
about how it manages to twist every horrid thing into
poetic drops of pain.
Damn,
even that makes it seem better
Even though I'm freckled and thick
Even though I'm blind and poor
Even though I'm short and white
Your words don't hurt me anymore
I've come to learn what it's all about
The world’s progression, scripted by bell,
Life decisions are forced to be made.
Sideways glancesSmirksSnickers behind binders
But they don’t knowThey don’t know what she’s been throughThey wouldn’t do this if they knew
Emo girl, gauged ears like sink plugs
Bracelets hiding both arms, like a secret.
Vibrant hair, changes like a chameleon.
Proud fashion adaptive and social maverick.
Congratulations.
He made promises.
Things he could never reach and
things he could never keep.
He saw things beyond his reach.
He would gaze at the moon and stars
School makes me blue,
I know what to do!
I'll do something fun,
I'll try something new!
In my free time I'll surf,
Explore the whole world,
I'll make new friends who will last till the end!
Who is to blame when I feel this sinking tugging pressure is it me or is it her or him or all of them or this whole world that centers on grades and looks and Internet?
A lump in my throat,
a ball of fire in my chest,
a river falling from my eyes,
I don't understand why,
a pounding head,
an aching heart,
my limbs are numb,
numb,
A new life
Potential with no seeming end
A new beginning, no sign of strife
But to begin, however, is also to end
A military child
Moving from state to state
i wake up in the mornings with a smile on my face
that is suddenly erased
the moment i step foot onto my school campus
the people that surround me
couldnt give a damn about me
Tea on a Sunday
evening
Two young girls
hide behind their words
their illustrations
small talk eludes
dark realities
too afraid to address
the monster
in the closet
Here I stand, book in hand.
These Women and Men behind these stacks-
do not attack. But defend.
So do not offend- me
with your lack of literacy
that you do not comprehend these Women and Men.
Finally understanding the meaning of friends
looking for quality, not quantity
and those who will stick to the end.
Being alone in a crowded room
but feeling alone.
TO BE CONTINUED
Why you felt more confindent harassing me alone?
You called us friends, because you thought it was funny to see me crumble.
I only smiled because mouth had malfunction and fail to say STOP!
When you grow up believing
that nice is the way to go,
you forget that emotions,
and thoughts
Excuse my corniness but
It's true when people say
These are the best days of your life
You don't believe it yet
But you will
You have to admit
Some days are brighter than most
Have you ever felt that hollowness inside,
That feeling that no one understands you?
After hearing of emos and man-periods,
The really not serious descriptions of depression,
On my mind are words from you,
that I'll keep there a while,
and in the hallway, books clung to chest,
Yes, Of Course, Please, and Thank You,
The United States Department of E-D-U,
Yes, Of Course, Please, and Thank You,
In their grand benevolence is delighted to do,
Yes, Of Course, Please, and Thank You,
Sitting up on that stage I glance around.
We all look tired.
The war is now over,
but did we win?
Certainly there were battles lost.
But we made it to this moment.
They say it happens all the time.
High school.
They say everyone gets made fun of.
High school.
Sneaking photographs,selfies in my English classto post on Facebook
Staying up til threewith homework, and on weekendssleeping in til noon
Ragin monstersswarm from the deepto devour,murder.They must be vanquished.
The pretty dronesraise their perfectheads to laughat me.I don’t like them.
I went roaming
(Villanelle poem)
I went roaming in their territory,
They can break and bruise me,
I'll never stop fighting
Snickering and doubting me,
I am neither strong nor skilled,
Once upon a dream
She lived Lavishly,
Where happiness felt clean
To the soul of purity
Invited all in unity
They laughed endlessly
Enjoying the offering of peace
In eternal divinity
If a stranger was the face reflected back
You wouldn't break his jaw would you?
Threaten to murder him for being black
Or beat him for loving his fellow man
Too often I see the withered dreams
Creamy smoothness under your fingers
Curled up; cat-like
Minutes ticking by
the world surrounding you has vanished
It's only you; eyes devouring
piece by delicious piece
word by beautiful word
ONE JOB. . .
One hope,
One ambition.
Is what we are made to choose,
during our high school days.
Before we are 18,
and can legally smoke.
Before we are 21,
They say these are the best days of our lives
But I don't see what makes them amazing
I think mostly we just try to survive,
Not focused on the greatness we're facing.
Our youth in our hands, we wish it away
The school dress code states:
Girls may not wear shirts without sleeves
Girls may not wear shorts that do not extend past fingertip length
Girls may not have shirts that dip down the width of her hand from her neck
Four years without life
True life, friends, money or love
High school was a drag across litter.
It is you who walks the halls
Shoulders slumped, head down, hair shielding your face
Protecting yourself from the scorn of others
' 'she is nothing but a slut' '
face pale
lips Glossy
' 'she is nothing but a freak' '
pale blue eyes
chocolate lockes
' 'her makeup looks terrible' '
Seventeen
Somewhere between childhood
And standing alone.
Wreaking of confusion and
Rebellion.
Lost
Yet, not respected
Yearning
I continually yearn to be a child again
I spent four of my years in a building
Of wood walls and cement floors
I spent four of my years in a building
Told it was wrong to want out
I spent four of my years stuck in two dimensions
Parents tell us we have a great life.
But I want to tell them I hate this strife.
My day is filled wih papers and books
While my brain sways like the currents in brooks
I doodle on my notebook
Growing up with ones you love, and that love you
making friends in a new school growing with the ones close to you as they grow too
Young love, puppy love, high school sweethearts:
Whatever you'd like to call it
Is seen as a long line of food carts.
Others think it's made up of fights and fits,
nothing is quite as painful as invisible is.
walking through the crowded hallways of a dysfunctional high school
Little children in little clothes
walked into school with eyes closed
and all they ever needed to learn in Kindergarten
went in one ear and out the other.
Teachers smiled and teachers cried.
The 21st century- a time of technology and innovation
But what good is this with unhappy people around the nation?
Body image and mind are sparesely accepted
Nobody wants to feel rejected
"Homosexuality is a sin!"
i never learned how toregister to vote, or howto save money with mycollege-student budget,
or how not to lose mymind under the pile oftextbooks that sit on mydesk, or my keys for that
I try.
That is all I can do,
All I know how to do.
Yet my principal says that's not good enough,
My counselor says I need a higher goal.
But what is it worth telling them?
I see the students
running through the halls.
I can feel the stress
brought on by life.
I see girls trying to hide the rips on jeans.
I see people hiding strips of hair colour
brought on by a need
you walk into the doors of a new place
few but slim familiar face
the start of a new journey
the start of a giant step
a step into your future
a step into your life
I understand
That work involves coworkers
I understand
That the ability to speak my mind may help me
I understand
That you think this is good for me
But I also understand
The light of a ghost
Spilling violently down your cheek
Stars spin in their eyes
You tell us to prepare for college
And cram our brains with useless knowledge
That won't help us in our lives
Won't help us support our wives
Why am I learning about pre-calculus,
You say that we need to know the things that we learn, they're important to graduate, you were quite stern.
There once was a homecoming game
Whose affiliation I wish to declaim
It made us all squirm
for it starred a pachyderm.
And my high school's rep became lame.
I may be quiet,
I may be shy,
but that doesn't mean
recognition will kill me.
What I'm doing right
-homework, quiet, listening-
even if everyone else is disregarding your voice,
Dribble, bounce, pass.
Shoot, swish, ah!
Friendly pats on the back,
Tick, tock, shrill!
I'm breathing hard, in and out.
I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm sweating.
Morning sounded prettier to a young girl than the afternoon.
Piegon toed and bugged eyed walking to the bustop at an early time she did not know existed
Saw the most human beings she'd ever seen in her life: 20.
Like ebony feathered ravens
--squawk, caw squawk--
beaks sharp as talons
talons sharp as hawk’s
They prey on the weak,
the strong, and the brave,
the boisterous, the silent,
Can you believe it's really here?It's October of our senior year.
Our class is closer, closer than ever.Why can't this year just last forever?
High school is full of motions and emotions.
Television is missing the actual high school promotion.
Waving at someone then shaking your head when they leave.
Society tells us a contradicting slew...Stay in school, mind the blues...The window panes are dry-rotting,Whilst the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in days...The smell of marijuana echoes down the hallways...
The beginning of the end of our childhood.
The first semester of the last year.
So many endings.
like reading the last book of a series
after each chapter, wanting to reread it
so the story never ends.
Teachers will never know
All the troubles that we endure
Simply to stay at the top
Of the list of all our competing peers
We have nothing to guide us there
We simply have to take a leap of faith
I'm finally here
Right where I want to be
It seems as if it has taken forever
For me to see so clear
But here I am
A college student
Making her way through classrooms and side walks
For what reasonwould I ever want to come back here?There is sickening staleness in the air,winter breeze coming from the heat ductsand no one is friendly,including you, Mr. Authority.My discipline report
there is an epidemic of thought thata master's degreedefines how much youcare and what i amas a being
She has cried in the dark for far too long
Soul Screaming un born Songs
been trying to be Strong
Waiting for the right One to come Along
She has been shoved to try and Belong
I have a dream,
Similar to Martin Luther King,
I want us all to succeed.
The words, "We have finally made it" to be uttered through our hearts,
Shared by
Our differences,
walk through halls
but utter silence inside
my mind
a blur of noise
outside
'everyone will find a place'
'high school is a better place'
but I miss the days of being free
Seven thirty-five already? Here, let me just press "snooze"
It's time to get up and go learn logarithms for moles I'll never use.
School takes up one third of my day- soooo many hours.
It’s you
You that I am scared of
You chose me as your target all because of the way i look
Or maybe it’s because I’m better than you
Are you mad at the fact that I don’t have to
Today in school, the same as yesterday,
and the day before, and the day before the day before,
Come in all humdrum and tired,
not even slapped awake by the slippy sippy slurp of black mustard coffee on the way to work,
Breaking Branches
Falling Leaves
Seasons Change
Caring Need
Rolled down Sleeves
Icy eyes
Hurting Heart
Who Survives?
Yeah, I appreciate what you do.
Thank you for spending a little extra time
looking over my essay with me after school.
I know its a long ride home for you
and I know you don't get paid for the overtime.
why call on a student
whos hand is not raised?
they do not know the answer
so why must you do it?
to embarass them?
to yell at them?
you say its to "encourage them"
but they do not feel that way
She is lost..
Lost among the days of old, banned from the days of new..
Like a wanderer in a maze..
The time has come for us to leave
A time to celebrate our victory,
Our time together, both good and bad
Times of laughter or boredom,
Of shame, love, and envy
This chapter of life is coming to an end
Without a raise of the hand, I stood
Knowing that I could be stifled, I know I did not care.
Without a raise of the hand, I spoke
Meaning no disrespect, but respect was the only matter on my mind.
look at that girl! her hairs bleached out! yesterday it was brown!
yeah... they think they know me
do you see how high her skirt goes when she walks?
yeah... they think they know me
look at the cleavage on THAT one!
Every morning I wake up
I say to myself *wtf*
I hate this basic routine
Wake up go to school and listen to these teacher lecture about some queen
I’ve dealt with a lot.
I’ve been bullied,
I’ve been heart broken,
I’ve been ignored,
I’ve been abandoned,
I’ve been invisible,
I’ve been a target.
They tell me it’s just the
Its was the silent kill. The infinite glare of a million eyes focused on the point of a pin. Its power could fuel a revolution, but would rather push its victims to the deepest pit of denial and thought.
1. I am a princess.
I am a mommy's girl
Innocent and preppy and loved
by my family.
I am done with baby bottles,
But only barely.
I am still a child.
2. I am an Arizona girl.
Five minutes left of 4th period
Someone is staring at you
Quick smile
Continue sketching on your notebook
Bell rings
Scatter into the halls
Overwhelmed by students
Staring
Judging
You feel happy.
You love yourself.
The smile you wear is genuine.
Your friends really care for you.
The tears that you hold back mean nothing.
I still have the first photograph taken of us. It was at prom, at our tiny high school, and even though we'd barely even spoken a word to each other in the years we'd attended, our parents insisted we pose - and we did.
I am sitting in a chair. Firm is my derriere. That's French for your sit upon. I like to sit in the sun. With a warm face and a loaded gun.
Shouldn’t it be a sign?
When the stress of seven hours makes kids want to get high?
When they would rather take the failure
Than stand up in class,
Because speaking a few words
It is August seventh the day is finally here,
Summer is officially over you can smell the freshman fear.
A long line of cars already starting to form,
Impatient teenage drivers creates the perfect storm.
You are not a shark:a woman does not attract you likeblood in water.You do not exist to fill the roleof predator.Your kind, if so suitable to law make, legislate, mandate,
Death is opportunity
Life is the challenge.
Opportunity to relapse
Challenge to stay above.
Opportunity to give up
Challenge to remain on track.
I am a survivor.
As i rose to leave the room, i noticed that the dozens of florescent lights over my head created a million little shadows below me.
I used to steal everything
All my jewelry and perfume
But you can’t steal from a coffee shop
So that’s where all my money went
I knew a girl who took fire to her arms
An empty school filled
with nothing more
but hollow bodies.
Empty space wasted on them.
They don't use the space.
Nor are they aware of it.
They can't welcome life.
I am not a poet
but I can make one just to say
how my life has become different
after the end of my high school days
I no longer take math classes
no more numbers for this kid
I've been thinking lately
About how things used to be.
And who I used to be
And where I've been since
Hearing the "four years goes fast" speech
And being stupid enough not to listen.
You could have been somebody,and done something.You have so much potential,but see a thing.Why give up,instead of staying strong?If you just believe in yourself you'll go far and long.
I joined the Lincoln soccer team this year
My position for the team was goalie
I blocked the blazing ball and heard the cheer
Then the mistake I made was unholy
Poet notice: I wrote this poem for my final project and presented it. The parts
in parenthisis are supposed to be sang and are from various songs.
(Well here we go)
Freshmen year 2009 were the times
Life lost, a lost life,
Youth wasted, a wasted youth,
Tired of trials, trial and error,
No end in sight, living in terror,
A slave to the night, always running scared,
You fill in my stomacah and make me quail and quiver depending
on how I look at your useless intent at making me deliver
a false pretense of myself before others knowing that I
would not even front for my brother whose
"Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble...CRACK!"
I groan as look down to see what my pencil had attacked.
The words seem ok, the sentences intact,
Has my soul faded into deep darkness
Overpowered by a blazing hot pain.
A unknowing feeling of a true mess
The memories of you keeping me sane.
Not even the idea of feeling
The streets raised me from the dusk to dawn
never knew life could be less fun
suicide attempts everyday with my gun
people think i'm okay but i'm not and then some
As I listen to her taunting me
With a daunting smile
Bickering and fighting
Like a child
She’s in my face so is the crowd
She shouts pop off bitch pop off
Were close closer than close
To be successful is hard
Yet, to fail is a given.
It's ok to be '16 and pregnant'
That’s the world we live in.
I look up at the TV screens
And think they got it great.
Watch the news and here the bash
The second a bird desides to move, it does not forget how to flap its wings--If you hear a fish commit to a destination, it doesn't just sink to the bottom--With a mirror standing, how can it be that the ram forgets how to walk when it wants to cl
It has bestowed upon me
The final year of my academic career in grade school
Through all the truimphs and failures that goes with each year
i' am the 12th Man
Graduation in 8 weeks , because i didnt graduate in june
im not complaining , kinda anxious , gotta go back to school
eighteen , known to slack off but when i want it , ill go and get it
They aren’t living, they’re avoiding death
Life is shabby and death is graceful
They can’t see life as a death wish
A wish to be living at your death
When I die I’ll be falling
If you wanna be wise, if you wanna be cool
You’re gonna have to go to school.
It’s not all fun. It’s not all games.
Sometimes it can be kind of lame.
I tore through her forrest of thorns
slowly becoming crazed,
the faster I galloped,
the more I panted.
I saw her horizon line,
bathing like temptation
against the heat of
Do you remember the first day back, in September,
When we first called ourselves seniors?
Watching and waiting,
Itching as the clock ticked.
This day seemed so far away,
But really it was quickly approaching.
Phony smiles play at tired lips
Passing through the halls hearing whispers unspoken
Sitting at a desk, feet shuffling impatiently against the floor
She drifted slowly to sleep,
opening her eyes for only the slightest moments,
trying to keep herself awake,
commanding her eyes to cease their throbbing…
but they wouldn’t listen,
she had no authority…
I walk these ghetto streets to and fro
People have come but most of them go
Looking around for a ray of sunlight
Darkness follows me without the moonlight
I have been on this decrepit road forever
Being different is scary.
when you don't act like every one else,
people judge you.
but today I say I am proud of being different!
I don't care if people call me names,
i know my true friend love me for me.
Too old to ignore the differences
Between right and wrong, yet too young to care.
Old enough to know love yet too young for
Our hearts, souls are not yet content to share.
Look to the future while missing the past,
The four years seem to flash right before your eyes,
Goosebumps appear as you tread down the empty hall the last time.
You feel as if ants are crawling in your stomach,
Every one going separate ways to college.
It happens so quickly. You go to your classes, you do the same thing every day, and then it hits you - you're not a kid anymore. You see your older friends leaving high school.
Realistically, I was fine.
On paper, everything was more than alright.
I worked hard,
and I technically was a big part of all the great things.
I always wanted-- want--more.
Man, isn't that the American way.
When I was in high school, I was the invisible girl. No one looked at me, No one said a word to me. I sat in the corner of the room. I wrote down all my thoughts in my journal. I would look up; I would see everyone staring at me.
Bundled asleep under a blanket of soil,
Anticipating the day to uncoil,
Dreaming of what the future might bring,
Knowing that soon the birds will sing.
It's almost here
As I count down the days, I can't help but feel scared
I leave my old life behind to pursue something new
Looking at the cap and gown hanging beside me
I can't help but feel like crying
The dark encompasses the old withered bark
The branches weep, its sap seeps from between cracks
To climb the tree, she gathers her wits
But they have burrowed themselves
Deep into the soil that is packed
Don't judge me for who I am
At least I know who I am
and what I want to be.
You used to dream big
and were my inspiration
now you live life below the radar
you judge everyone for being out there.
If I were an artist
I’d bathe myself in color
And allow my art to consume me
I’d wash myself with charcoal
And paint my features with pastel
I would wake in the midst of night
Having traveled these halls many times
I arrive, now, at the final chapter
So that I may finally make my path
And walk toward life on my own.
Since fate holds that I can not stay,
I will leave you all behind
It’s the end of senior year
Time for laughter, time for cheer
So many memories in these halls
Teachers, students, windowless classroom walls
Freshman year, just starting out
Cliques are just a form of people who have heartless thoughts , & feelings that you can't bare to think of with their evil stares demon like thoughts surround me every day, the way they move like a pack of cheetahs looking for their prey to fe
I went for a ride,
A ride called "Suicide"
Full of blood, pain, and hurt,
I treated myself like dirt.
Not caring about how I looked,
Or even reading my favorite book.
With a force greater than gravity
I'd fight for you,
Because this life won't mean a thing
if you're not sheltered beneath my wing,
With a depth deeper than the darkest abyss
I can relate to you,
I am currently on 'Watch'.
'Watch' is what happens when a school thinks you’re suicidal. So that must mean I’m suicidal right?
Sure, I thought about killing myself, but be honest; who hasn’t?
"You look nice today."
Flashback
"You look nice today."
She said it so sweet
The smile that crept across her face
Everything about me melted away
Wanting to run into her arms
Hey little McKenzie.
I haven’t known you for too long, but
I feel like in such a short time
In mind and body you have grown
It’s true
The Bell Rings
The bell rings
We take our seats
And care not for beings
Who we can beat
Welcome to the infamous jungle of high school
Where the smart are undefined and the popular shine
Where the teachers grumble and the athletes rumble
Where the girls gossip and the boys gossip
I just wanted to say thank you.
I wanted to thank you for helping make me who I am.
I wanted to thank you for pushing me forward when I was satisfied.
I wanted to thank you for being upset when I let you down.
"Cherish your youth," the saying goes. We'll all leave this place one day.
These four years have come and gone, and there is so much left to say.
In a few years we'll look back and ask, Did I do it right?
The night is young
Yet Im alone
Sitting here waiting
In my all to empty home
You stood me up
Not once but twice
Using "I love you"
just to break the ice
it was like that flakey pi
always divided, subtracted
their estimation became errors
emotions scattered and multiplied
These words that you now read are spoken but not said
This is far from an complaint but just a mere look at the changes that have been made
The high school cliché comes within an abundance
To the freshmen, and those in between,
Avoid the intersection where the Art Hall, Science Hall, and Cross Hall meet,
Enjoy the rip-off that is Pizza Break,
And watch a fight just once, but don’t partake.
How To Be Cool At High School (colon):
a list that might be more appropriately entitled “How To Survive At High School”.
One: Listen to rap music.
Two: Like red meat, and also like football –
Deception starts with us
It paints a picture of inadequacy
We are convinced of what we are not
Pertaining to excellence, intelligence, or beauty
The worthlessness we feel
We can’t bear to let others see
In school we’re meant to learn,
But we just text, talk, and sleep
And by the end of the day we barely
Know a thing.
Awaiting the moment, these are supposed to be the
Best days of our lives, but
Can’t you see that we’re all
Drowning in stress and drama? There are too many
Emotions thrown around, we
I called my mom an idiot
I told my dad I hate him
And when it came time to go to Italy
I said that I didn’t want to go on vacation
With them.
I’ve made a few mistakes.
(A poem based on telling my past self four years ago)-Does contain suggestive language
Dear freshman me:
Hey!- you yes you there blond- hair tip moron
-sighs-
High school is a time for freedom
This is what all middle schoolers dream of
The moment you first take these big steps
The time you have to "STOP!" and catch your breath
What can a fish do without his fins
Will he still be able to swim towards ocean's end
What can a tiger do without his claws
Will he still be able to catch his prey right under his paws
Your conviction is quick it can’t be denied.
Your sentence, of course, is strictly applied.
Dragging your feet to the front of the jail,
You think to yourself…never too late to bail.
(poems go here) This is it.
As i watch my past go by
In a matter of ten minutes I wonder,
What will become of me or my girls?
This is it.
I'm leaving in a matter of months.
We loved together
We laughed together
We cried together
Made memories together
Every year, we burned bright
Faced challenges and obstacles
And burned out sometimes
But like an immortal Phoenix
I hate high school so much
I can’t wait for it to conclude
While the memories to be made
In our minds we exclude
