12

12 was the age that i felt like dying.

The age where I hated myself and always crying.

Never realized how mean people can be

They always be judging my weight, my face, my hands, and my feet

 

12 was the age that I became weak.

It was also the time that getting emotional help was all that I seek

Even the loved ones at home be telling me that I'm not good enough.

I gave up all hope, because I felt that I'm not able to be tough

 

12 was the steepest time of my life

People would be staring and giving me all these fat and ugly joke lines.

I be writing letters to God asking "What did I do wrong?"

"...I was born this way so how on earth can I learn to be more strong?"

 

Through that age I be starving myself, carving myself, and I always thought about killing myself

At that time I wanted to flee, to be free, and dying was the only thing.

Death was waiting for my vulnerbility to take it's toll, and have my family put my lifeless body in a muddy hole

If setting my soul free on my own will is a sin, i wish the pain people gave me could have also been.

 

I wrote many diary entries about the shit I carried, thinking that dying would make people happy.

Because I knew for a fact that I was FAT, I was UGLY, and not only that..

I was a nerd, always turned in my homework, and that gave them more reasons to hate.

But I got up and became strong, to prove them wrong, that I can't die and they can't change my fate

 

And now I'm venting, because my heart is bending, whenever i always think about being 12 it will always hurt me

I moved on because my mom once told me the outside may look poor, but the heart is filled with  money.

5 years later, I follwed those words, and look at where it got me! I'm 17 feeling free, not caring about how others judge me.

They may hate, but they can't phase, because I got strong from being a victim of bullying.

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