17

Location

17
 
17. I just turned 17. My friends gave me last minute birthday presents. Two spent time and money on me. My best friend didn’t even remember my birthday. I didn’t have a birthday at home. When I got back from a trip in San Antonio, I found the thousand dollar television set ruined not to mention the walls, laptops, and glass table that my parents destroyed.
 
16. I wince because it was the worst year of my life. From the minute I turned 16, I was in tears because my mom’s everlasting anger was upon me. From the minute the first day of school started all hell broke loose. My dad’s infidelity and my mom’s anger, revenge, and hate threw my family to the pits. My siblings saw violence and slept at five in the morning due to my parent’s long night fights.  Multiple times I had to run away. Once I fell into the road unsuccessfully  getting hit by a car and successfully screwing up my writing hand. When I was forced back into my house my mom forced my sister and I to hurt each other to obtain her forgiveness. She wanted me to apologize for putting her in jail for stabbing my dad. For being unable to see us for two months. On my sister’s birthday, my parents argued and argued. I threatened to commit suicide right in front of them. Only my sister stopped me. She went crazy. Around this time at school these group of girls began to harass and bully me. My boyfriend’s first year of college was to hectic for him to put time into me. I broke up with him. I couldn’t confide in anyone except for my best friend. And eventually, he left as well. I wanted so badly to cut again.
 
15. My mom had a miscarriage.
 
14. I transferred to the high school that my elementary school friends attended only to find that the group of friends I once had was torn apart. I secluded myself from them and fell in love with someone who cared about me. My mom got pregnant with a baby. We never got to find what it gender was. But at least I stopped hurting myself.
 
13. I found an amazing group of friends. We were ready for high school.
 
12. I started 7th grade at predominantly white school. I couldn’t fit in. I constantly tried hurt myself.
 
11. I started middle school. My mom stood out on the porch in tears because she forgot I was no longer an elementary school girl. My brother developed leukemia and my parents moved my siblings and I across town away from my friends. I began mutilating myself.
 
10. My brother was born.
 
9.
 
8. My mom was pregnant with my third sister. On Father’s day my parents got into a fight and my dad threatened to drive into a pole. He then attempted to slam things onto the television set to shatter it.
 
7.
 
6. My mom was pregnant with my second sister.
 
5.
 
4. I saw my mom trying to stab my uncle with a knife with my grandmother in the middle. I walked into the kitchen to find blood covering the floor.
 
3.
 
2.
 
1.  My mom was pregnant with my sister.
 
0. My mom wanted to go to America. She wanted to me to have a life of opportunity. She wanted me to be. Happy.

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