after all of this, when I reach my peak
in heaven, or hell, whatever you believe
will He look at my wrists, or inside my head?
will He let me explain, or judge me instead?

I'm not all good, but that dark in my bones
well, it's been there so long I don't feel alone
like my pain has grown roots and I hold dear to me
this sorrow I feel will set me free

whatever the cost, whatever the gain
I've been waiting so long I've lost sight of my aim
what I strive for each day depends on my sin
when old habits knock, I always welcome them in