365 Days

1460 nights ago
together,

we sit

on top of a stranger’s washer and dryer

our legs swing

our hearts pound

“so do you want to be my boyfriend?”

365 days

love

screaming

apologies

the cutting stops

nightmares turn to dreams

 

1095 days ago

no presents

you climb

through my bedroom window to me

our hands touch

our hearts pound

“this has been the best year of my life”

 

365 days

love

devotion

realizations

you are the one

dreams turn to realities

 

730 nights ago

you sleep

next to me

I’ve learned every line of your body

My lips cover you

our hearts pound

“this has been the best two years of my life”

365 days

love

unconditional

plans

I want to marry you

you’re still unsure

 

365 days ago

you know

I know

ask my brother’s permission

ask my mother’s permission

yes

 

387 days ago

you kneel

I know you’re going to ask

the tears fall

you don’t quit smiling

Yes.

“This is the best day of my life.”

 

wedding arrangements

money

money

more money

love won’t pay the bills

anxiety, fear

dreams become nightmares

my horrors resume

 

730 days of excuses

no
the millionth time,
“I can’t get a job”
your comfort in a world standing still

do you not get it?

that’s now how the world works.


295 nights ago

our hearts pound

voices crack

tears like oceans

I love you

it’s why I’m leaving


I’m dying
I don’t know it yet,

but everyone else does.

Alcohol numbs the pain

If I’m drunk I can’t remember

your hands

eyes,

lips,

arms

Just drink, forget.

 

231 nights of loneliness

I try, in vain, to replace you

to replace us

Every hand that touches me

Compare it

“But it isn’t him”

 

Denial
Until you leave

“Private Keeling reporting for duty, SIR”

 

Seven days ago

I need you more than Uncle Sam
Reality hits

Don’t deny him
I love you.

Five nights ago
Forty five minute drive

Dont’ cry in front of the cop
He pulled you over for swerving

I can’t see the road from the tears

I know every line of your body
My tears fall
We make love one last time
You say you love me in person

one last time

 

today

four years

I celebrate alone
I promise I’ll wait

I learned that love can pay the bills

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

Comments

samimobley

I went through a lot of turmoil, adventure, growing up, and unforgettable moments in a year. I think about where my life would had been if I chose to keep going down the same path, and I'm all in all extremely happy I had to write this poem one day. Sometimes you have to step completely away from something that's going to change your life, and that's the best option to take. 
 

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