I’m succumbing

Giving into the urge.

I want to stop.

Pause.

Why do I breathe,

When every gasp burns my throat?

I can’t find myself

And I’ve already lost you.

You said I’d be safe.

Said it’d get better.

Who knew you could lie so well?

I want to peel it away.

Rip off the transparent layers of my skin.

Burn it, cut it, destroy it.

Till there’s nothing left but my ashes.

How can I continue?

I’m alone in this world,

The earth is too shallow to dig,

And waters too deep to swim.

I’m stranded.

I’m left to fend for myself.

Fight for a life I don't want.

The universe itself  is pushing onto me.

Crushing my bones and lungs.

I can’t breathe.

I can't

breathe…

You all left me behind.

Abandoned me.

Why am I always the traitor?

I’ve done nothing wrong,

I gave you everything I had.

My heart and mind are yours

And you ran away with them.

Now the air I stutter to inhale is dry.

You left me behind.

You, who gave me everything you could.

You gave in.

Surrendered and succumbed to your weaknesses.

And I'm struggling to keep you alive.