Early in the morning I remember, waking up, smelling the tortillas.
I did my morning routine, got my cup of tea, and said hello to my family.
I would go back downstairs make sure I have something to eat and something to smoke.
Grabbing out my box, get out my papers, and my lighter too.
My morning routine with the little baggie, you look so fresh, smell so sweet.
My morning routine as I follow this haze you bring.
A little piece of you in this little tool, bam and here you go freshly cut and ready to go.
I take out my pipe and fill it into the empty space, put it inside.
Make sure it is packed nice and tight.
My morning routine, using my lighter now.
I put you close to my mouth,I inhale, take a few hits.
Slowly when I let you out, my body feels relaxed.
I feel at peace with all my thoughts, putting everything away.
My morning routine at first you seemed to help me.
You made me feel like my mind was clear.
I felt okay with being me, I seemed to make many friends that had an interest in me.
We would meet up before school and catch up on life.
One of them would pull out a pipe.
To think this all started at Hillcrest, in the morning behind the bleachers.
My friend, she asked me to go with her one day and she introduced me with other people.
Then she asked me if I wanted to smoke, I didn’t know what it was.
I didn’t know how it would affect me.
I decided to take a hit after three or four times of her asking.
I went to class feeling kinda funny.
I zoned out and she just laughed because she knew it was my first time.
I didn’t even know what I was doing.
I felt loved and happy when you would get to me.
Even when my friends would say
“Yo te entiendo” (I understand you)
I didn’t feel angry about things happening with me and my mom.
I ran away from my problems with you, you helped ease the pain.
Remember the night, when I went out to see my friend?
You were there, I decided to take a drink of your closest friend, I guess you could call beer.
I decided to drink a few of them, but then I longed for you.
You came to me, and I felt a buzz. In my silence of peace, you took over me.
Those friends that I met, they weren’t real.
They lied to me, hurt me, and stole from my family.
I didn’t want to admit it, while my mom sat there and tried to tell me what they were doing.
Maybe it’s all in my mind I could sit here saying -- “You’re to blame.”
That’s all part of the addict mind.
I want to blame you for the things that have happened to me.
That’s not okay, time to take responsibility for my actions.
So I don’t continue to hide amongst the shadows of my addictions.
You made it to the point, where lying got worse.
I didn’t want to reveal, the addiction I had with you, and I thought you loved me.
My mind still craves you, and so does my body.
No more longing for you or begging you to find me
When you come around I won’t want you anymore.
It is my time to say goodbye to an addict mind like mine.