All Because Of You

You were my first love,

At least that is what I thought.

You messed up my life,

Because now everything I do is related back to you.

I feel vulnerable talking to guys,

because you made me believe I wasn't a sight to see.

You made me feel bad for saying no,

because you needed to be in control.

My depression had returned,

after months of trying to lead it askew.

I stayed up nights crying

All Because Of You.

I hate myself

Every single damn bone in my body

All Because Of You.

 

You told me that guys weren't all the same,

and boy did you prove that right.

I was never treated by a boy

the way  you treated me, myself, and I.

You said no one would ever love me like you did,

because I was too heavy and innocent for another guy my age.

You caused me to be scared of any other guys,

after you abused me during the 6 months we went on dates.

Yet, you never laid a hand on me,

instead you told me terrible lies.

Like when I almost committed suicide during the month of July,

you told me to suck it up because "Big Girls Don't Cry".

I've forgotten what it feels like to be loved,

All Because Of You.

And most importantly,

I wish I could love myself again,

but I can't,

All Because Of You.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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