When did you realize that there was nobody you needed but yourself? How could you tell that you would always be there and that they would not? When you find yourself unable to rise in the morning unable to turn the faucet on to clean your face unable to nourish your aching body Are they there? Are you gone? When you realize that you have been abused realize that your mental illness is everywhere realize that nobody knows what to do with you How can you cope with this knowledge? Wouldn’t ignorance be less painful? When you don’t want to die but you don’t want to live Where do you go? Who knows? When you’re all that’s left do you abandon ship or do you go down with it? Needing someone who hurts you is the same thing as jumping ship when there was a lifeboat right there Needing someone who hurts you is the same thing as killing yourself because you couldn’t think of a good way to tell someone you loved them. Needing someone who isn’t you is the same thing a as learning You have to need peace first You have to need you first I need my peace first.