All The Reasons I Shouldn't Write Poetry: A Poem By Me

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All the reasons I shouldn't write poetry. 

Number one

I-don't-fucking-like-poetry 99.8% of the time

It pisses me off 

And I swear if I hear one more fucking poem about lovey dovey bullshit 

From a girl 

Who hasn't even been dating the boy the poem is about more than three days

I'll probably write an angry poem about it

Number two

I can not rhyme

I know poems don't have to rhyme 

But I feel like maybe

More than three poems I have written should rhyme 

I mean most poems rhyme and my poems are just like

"Fuck you and you and you and I actually want to fuck you"

Number three

I have no sense of rhythm to my speaking or writing

I am the most stereotypical white girl 

I have no rhythm 

At all, I can't dance, I can not tap out a beat. 

I can't read a poem out loud without wondering to myself 

"What happened the beautiful musical rhythm these words had in my head?"

Number four

I am not a fucking poet. 

Unless I'm drunk

But we all think we are poets when we are drunk. 

It is like everything in the world gains a few new adjectives. 

Which is great until you use the word asinine to describe your professor in a paper

And forget to delete it before turning it in

Number five

My poetry as a general rule don't make sense

I mean they all start out fuck brilliant comments of society 

Then they some how morph into these creepy fucking lyrical messes

About how much I love my boyfriends ass

Or how much I hate cold coffee

Unless it has white chocolate mocha creamer

Number six

I am too ADD to care

About anything 

For a long enough period of time

To write a deceit 

Fucking poem abo-

One time I caught my hair on fire. 

Number seven

I hate almost everything

I hate people

I hate that song you are listening to, probably 

I hate cars

I hate cats

Seriously fucking hate cats. 

Number eight

I love to damn hard. 

And when you love anything you love like it is your whole damn world 

And are limited to the words of the English language 

It is hard to put the words in the right order to describe 

Bliss absolute heartedly whole soul imploding 

Feeling of a first kiss

Number nine

I have inside jokes inside my poetry. 

I don't know why

Maybe three people in the world

Will understand why I mixed up all the words up six lines ago

But I fucking put it there 

Just to laugh when I go reread this 

Number ten

I use variations the word 'fuck' like a comma 

I fucking really fucking have to fucking use fuck this fucking much

I can't fucking help my fucking self

Fuck is just such a fucking useful word.

Fuck I wrote another fucking poem 

Oh well, I almost kind of like it 

Fuck it I'll be a poet tonight

Comments

Charles Muchori

I love the honesty in your poem. And the fact that it made me laugh. I'd have insert all the f bombs too but (insert Forrest Gump voice) my mama said fuck is a bad word. But fuck it. I fucking love your piece.

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