Sometimes I speak and lose my thought

My tongue the trap on which words are caught

Or simply I am blank in mind

and have no rebuttal for some time

I am not the most intelligent, nor can I speak on the most relevant

I've grown accustomed to the silent mode that my voice has settled in

But on paper they seem to better flow

and with each word my voice does grow

A letter to send of ink or tech

A skill of which I am better set

Those with filled throats and filling speech

Always seem to ask of me

What is it about writing that does soothe

I simply respond "It's all I can do"

An awkward hug, uncomfortable touch

Regardless if love is little or much

A silent sense of restlessness

when affections run higher than caress could express

Never it fails that I seem cold

When I try to open I only fold

inside myself and hide away

From the possibility and opportunity of making a mistake

My grow palms too sweaty to hold a hand

Arms gone too limp to be lead in dance

And lips that quiver far too much

to ever feel meet another's touch

But in transcribed expression I can bleed in full

And float in blue ink's endless pool

Observers ask how I write but not touch with these same hands

I simply reply "a feeling ,more than a feel ,I can better understand"

Some mornings the night never ends

And some days an enemy is made of friend

And there are days, more than less

when I can barely stand myself

Four walls encased in darkness barcode my heart

and from this entrapment I fail to part

There are days where I wake and begin

to wish the day would only end

It feels so odd to feel so wrong

A born being who does not belong

The recurring thoughts of dread struggle to cease

and rarely do my pleads cause it to appease

How taboo a thought that fills the self

That I may rather kill myself

Those around cannot understand

these feelings that flow through my hands

into pen and onto wood

where I am better understood

This is no cage, it does not restrain

the forbidden thoughts within its page

And never judges regardless of sin

It holds all secrets deep within

And they look in and ask on what they cannot see

What written word does for me

I simply reply "when I am trapped within myself, it is these words that set me free"