Why do I feel so alone

yet I steadily push people away

I say what I feel at the moment

yet don't mean what I say 

in my heart

But my world is ripping apart

from everywhere and everything

I need to wake up from this dream

or is it all reality?

I can't tell, it's messing with 

my mentality

So I try to rest

probably the only time I feel blessed

with no stress

Since it's my escape

from this worls that isn't so great

So I run to write in this book

probably the only time I release my thoughts

Since it's my only sign of peace

something that I'm struggling for

in this crazy world

where everything can go back to the way it was 

but I guess that will never happen

not after what I've done.