The Alternative

Wake up, roll out of bed

Hit the floor, legs like lead

Emotions are weighing me down

Dawn my mask to cover my frown

 

My mask of Immaturity

My mask gives me security

My mask preventing me to breathe

 

What is The Alternative?

 

And with this mask comes a price

One I've paid more than twice

A danger of being misunderstood

Extending back to childhood

 

Under this mask I may weep

It only protects me surface deep

I need to hold back just a little longer

 

But what is The Alternative?

 

For something I can't stop thinking about

It's always so hard to make it out

It would be easy to ask "what's wrong with me?"

But these problems I face are summed to three

 

I worry about every outcome

And bottle it up until I'm numb

Till the emotions inside can no longer hide

 

I'm scared of The Alternative.

 

I'm scared

It's stupid

I'm dumb

I'm selfish

 

These feelings, this method

It's not unique

 

To run

To bottle

To fake

To hide

 

Keep it together

You're nothing special

 

To them

You're average

It's over

You lost

 

They left, they're gone

You had your chance

 

Sit down

Shut up

Get up

Put out

 

How do expect respect if you always suspect

 

The worst

It hurts

Rock bottom

Can't climb

 

Your mask is slipping don't let it slip

 

You're sad

So what

Guess what

Me too

 

You're feelings mean nothing

So just stop thinking

 

About this

About that

None of it matters

 

Because you can't get hurt again.

 

Go home, roll into bed

Close my eyes, legs are dead

Remove my mask, but where's my frown?

I cannot find it as I look around

 

In its place, on my face, a smile

For once, I hope that it stays a while

And even though it may hurt in the end,

The Alternative is better than pretend

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741