Am I?

Am I fighting for something that doesn't want to be saved? Is it any good for me? Am I in this by myself? I feel like I'm doing this all by myself sometimes and these times right now, are those times. I just sit and think, I wish he would leave me already if this is how he is going to act towards me. Cause I just can't feel like I'm the only one that's in love and want to be in this relationship. He did tell me he don't know about us anymore. But then on the other hand I don't want him to leave me. I put so much into this relationship, like my heart, and he can't just walk out my life and leave me here by mysel. I never act like this towards him. I didn't want this to happen and I feel like its my fault cause I spoke my feelings. I never speak my feelings to him cause he always end up mad in the end so I stopped. But it was bothering him so I started back and now he wants to leave me. And I really can't believe that. He was just asking me not to leave him after he hurt me AGAIN. But I told him I would never leave him cause I love him too much. And now he is ready to walk out the door. And I just keep begging him to stay with me. I know that might seem pathetic but I don't care cause I love him and don't want to lose him. And I know that's not okay but that's just the way I feel and nothing can change that. I don't know why I'm so attached to him. But I am and its nothing I can do about it. I try to blame it on the distance. Maybe us being far apart is hurting our relationship. That's probably why he don't love me no more. I mean he hasn't told me he loved me all day. And it really hurts. It hurts more than him cheating on me. I need to just let him go? But I can never do that. Am I fighting for something that can't be saved?

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