Anger Equals Action

“You aren’t good enough”

            Excuse me, did you say something?

“You can’t do it… I mean, have you seen your competition?! You have no chance!”

            Don’t you dare tell me what I can or cannot do… I’ll prove you wrong!

“You are a tiny, little girl who has no talent and no future.”

            And you are just a lump of coal sitting in the fire that has just been lit beneath my butt.

 

No, nobody has ever said these things to me, but they may as well have!

I could practice my violin from dawn ‘till dusk and these judges, these people think they can crush my dreams with their words? No way… this violin chick will not crouch down to their level.

 

            You can be a grouch to me, but I will just look into your eyes, smile politely, and walk out of the audition room saying “thank you.”

 

Over half of the judges who I play for, I will never see again in my life. But the pride I gain from knowing I accomplished something someone said I could not is greater than anything.

Their comments are supposed to give me constructive criticism and tips to improve my performance and musical skills.

 

Audition after audition, I would be told that I am not good enough- through the words they write on some stupid piece of paper, or the results that they post on a stupid website or the stupid rejection letter I receive in the mail three weeks later.

Audition after audition, I say to myself “Failure can never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.”

Audition after audition, I look at myself in the mirror of my practice room and say “Life is like a camera… focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.” Another shot… That’s right…. I am going to try again!

 

Audition after audition, the results begin to change. My actions are being recognized, people are noticing that I am more than a tiny little girl with no talent and no future. Now people are smiling back at me, saying “Keep up the good work, you sound great kiddo!” Except these people, are the judges that really matter… They are the strangers sitting next to me at the airport waiting for their flights, as I am practicing for my upcoming all-state audition. The passersby on the street as I practice, with the distraction of public areas, for my upcoming state-wide solo competition.

 

 

These judges are the ones who inspired me to go to music camp, and be awarded concertmistress.

These judges are the ones who motivated me to earn 5th chair in my region.

These are the judges that really matter, because in the real world, I play music for people.

 

You make me angry, you better expect results because my biggest motivation to succeed is to deny the false judgments and insulting stereotypes that people have of me because I am a strong, small, female who conceals hidden treasures until someone unleashes the beast within me.

 

 

 

Comments

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression. Always let poetry fill your life. Keep expressing your heart.  

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