I am angry
I am angry at the word Society
I am angry that people still think Anorexia is just for girls
and I am angry at the term "Pro Ana."
I am angry at every binge
and every purge,
I am angry at every calorie that made me feel big
and I am angry that I wanted to die because I felt big.
I am angry because you believed there was nothing wrong just because I wasn't skinny.
I still under-ate
my hands were way past dry
I felt faint everyday
going up the stairs is a dizzy trip.
I'm angry that my best friend had to go through this & I couldn't for her.
I am angry that this poem isn't about me but about somebody that I love
I am angry because people still don't believe this is a disease & it's just a game
I am angry because people don't understand the depression that goes with this
if being underweight is the only reason you'd notice
your daughter is not your daughter
don't you understand the behavior modifications that's been running through more than just her head
she's not the little girl you still think she is
it feels like her skin is falling off her bones.
she thought she was obese when she wasn't even ten pounds close to obesity.
She'll only admit she's hungry for the diet pills hidden with the not for brushing toothbrush.
I am angry because you'll never understand what it's like to talk your friend out of sticking her neck in a noose
just because her BMI was more than she could stomach
Below average, just isn't enough.
She lost her appetite to the ribs above her stomach
they still didn't show.
She lost it to her hip bones
where a boy held her close and complimented her on how small she was getting
but that didn't satisfy her
they weren't sticking out to her goal.
and you will never understand the pain that this puts a best friend in.
this is the definition of being the living dead
anxiety and calories swallowing you whole as you dove into the deep end.
anorexia is spreading more and more each day
you're waiting for the apocalypse,
I'm telling you it's already here
I'm telling you what will end the world will not be zombies
but our minds destroying our bodies and slitting us open
this isn't heart surgery
this is Anorexia.